Unfortunate
by roxannevenice2013
Summary: Reid whimpered in fear as he watched the needle pierce his skin, he felt the Dilaudid flow into his bloodstream and the increased rate of Dopamine and Seratonin release into his brain; Reid's head fell back simultaneous to his slowly sinking heart as he realised that the dosage was just fueling the severity of his addiction to increase, but the temptation was too great to resist.
1. Anti-social

**Hello readers, since I've finished the whole 'Sitting on a traumatic past, lingering underneath an unbearable future' story; I have decided to write another story revolving around Reid's drug addiction.**

**This story is centred around Reid and Strauss' involvement in the situation.**

**What decision will she make and how will it affect the team as a whole?**

**Please review if you have the time. :)**

Thursday, February 22nd 2007

Reid moped through the bullpen, Agent Anderson approached him.

"Reid, you're over one hour late; they're already giving the briefing." He informed.

"We have a case today?"

"Agent Hotchner isn't going to be very pleased with you." Anderson said to Reid, which just fuelled his frustration.

"I'll deal with him later!" Reid snapped.

Agent Anderson looked at Reid. "Strauss is going to be working on the case." He sighed.

"Great..." Reid said sarcastically. "Just great."

He slowly walked towards the briefing room. Now not just Hotch and Gideon would be keeping an eye on him: the dreaded Strauss would be too.

Reid opened the door, he quickly walked in and sat down.

Not apologising for anything.

The team stared at him, he ignored them and looked down at the case file.

"Agent Reid_" Strauss began.

"Doctor Reid." He corrected.

"You're late. Don't we deserve an apology for having to wait?" She asked sternly.

Reid gave her an 'I don't care' expression. "I'm sorry." He said abruptly.

"Good; now that you've missed the briefing we'll have to inform you on the plane." Strauss said while scowling over to him.

The plane.

"This Unsub is killing the female last and mutilating the body afterwards." Gideon started.

"The male dies first but dies slowly and painfully by being stabbed, the female is killed quickly after he dies and the body is mutilated." Hotch continued.

"Maybe it's a hatred the Unsub has towards women. He kills the man, ultimately destroying her. He then kills her right after she had to watch her spouse die in front of her eyes." Reid added.

"Okay team, when we get there me, Gideon and Prentiss is going to talk to the victim's relatives; Reid, Morgan and JJ work on the profile. Strauss can stay with us." Hotch ordered.

Police Station.

"Hello my name is SSA Aaron Hotchner. These are Agents Jareau, Morgan, Gideon, Prentiss, Dr. Reid and Chief Strauss."

"Thanks for assisting us; we really needed your help. These cases are pretty brutal." The police officer grimaced.

"Do you have a map of the area? I need to do a geographical profile of the UnSub." Reid asked awkwardly.

The police officer pointed. "Just in that room over there."

"Thanks." Reid said while raising one eyebrow.

He stormed off. Still annoyed with Strauss.

"Agent Hotchner, could I stay at the police station? I'd prefer this." Strauss asked.

Hotch found this slightly dubious; but he knew what she wanted to do.

"Yes ma'am."

Strauss nodded her head and walked over to the room Reid was in.

"Dr... Reid." She said sarcastically.

Reid continued his anti-social ways. "Yes ma'am." He said in a frustrated tone.

"What is the matter with you?" She asked. "Why are you so obnoxious all of a sudden?"

"What is it to you?" He replied with another question.

"My agents are my problem. I think that you should treat them better." She told him angrily.

Reid turned around to face Strauss. "Do you really not know what is wrong with me?" He asked abruptly. "I'll tell you. I was kidnapped_"

"Yes I know that but_"

Reid shouted over Strauss. "But what? But what Strauss? I was kidnapped! Do you really expect me to get over it that quickly? It's just a prime example of what you really think of me." He scoffed.

"I'm not paid to judge my agents."

"You're right Strauss. You're not. But you do it just for your own entertainment." Reid shook his head in annoyance and immediately turned around to plot points on the map.

"Agent_" Strauss began.

"Doctor." Reid corrected.

"Doctor Reid. Why are you so anti-social. The whole team has began to notice this behaviour change." She explained.

"They don't know half of what I'm going through." He replied bitterly.

Strauss exited the room in frustration. She was fed up of Reid.

Reid watched her leave, as soon as she turned the corner he pulled the Dilaudid out o his pocket. "Later." He whispered to himself before throwing them into his bag.

The withdrawal symptoms were sure to kick in soon, Reid wanted to get this case over and done with.

"You okay Spence?" JJ asked sweetly.

"Fine… why?" He asked spitefully.

"You haven't been yourself."

"Why do you think?" He asked abruptly.

JJ held up her hands and walked away. Why was he being like this?

Reid grimaced as he sat down. He didn't want to be like that… the drugs were making him into something he's not.

"Why me?" He muttered to himself. "Why me?"

Hotch burst in. "Reid have you found anything yet?"

"The Unsub lives in this area. If you're narrowing down the population of about 20,000 it's like finding a needle in a haystack." He said sarcastically.

Hotch scowled at Reid. "Focus! I need you working the case, not sitting complaining about it. We know you're suffering post-traumatic stress disorder andwe understand."

Reid mumbled under his breath. "That's not the only thing I'm suffering from."

"What was that Reid?"

Reid looked flustered. "Nothing, nothing."

"…Right." Hotch said before closing the door.

Reid looked at the map; he knew that he could work it out, he just wasn't trying hard enough.

"Okay." He began. "So if I were to mark all of the places the victims were last spotted we might get somewhere."

Reid began plotting even more points onto the map; he was working quickly, but not near as quickly as he usually would.

Reid's phone rang; he reached over the table to answer it.

"Garcia?" He said in a hoarse tone.

"Reid, the Unsub is uploading the videos to an illegal website." She told him frantically.

"What's the website?"

"I'm emailing the link to you as we speak. I'm gonna try and track down his home computer, it may take some time considering the fact that he's very skilled with computers." Garcia sighed before putting the phone down.

The email came up on the BAU laptop; Reid clicked on the link and watched all three videos.

"I have something."


	2. The decision

**Thank you for reading the first chapter; I didn't expect near as many views as I got, thanks to I Heart Reid 23 for being the first follower :) It means a lot.**

**I hope you like the second chapter. :)**

"Guys I think I have something." Reid said while darting to the rest of the team.

"What is it Reid?" Gideon asked.

Reid explained to them. "During the third murder which was on Wednesday, the Unsub said something under his breath while killing the female victim_"

"What did he say?" Morgan interrupted.

"It was quiet so I had to increase the volume to the maximum, but I managed to get a rough idea of what the Unsub said."

"What did he say Reid?" Hotch questioned frustratedly.

"He was talking about his father being murdered and the killer being let out of prison early." Reid explained.

"Get Garcia on the phone, Reid_"

Hotch looked over to Reid. Reid was leaning on the wall grimacing in pain.

"Are you okay Reid?" Hotch asked sympathetically.

"I've got to go." Reid held his stomach and ran out of the door.

"We'll deal with him when he comes back." Hotch ordered the team. "We have a job to do and keeping a close eye on Reid is not helping with the case."

"Agent Hotchner can I speak with you for a second?" Strauss asked formally.

Strauss held the door open for Hotch closing the rest of the team out of the conversation.

"Is it just me who finds Agent Reid's behaviour dubious?" She asked.

Hotch gave her a confused look. "He was kidnapped and tortured, what do you expect of him?"

"I expect him to make a full contribution. Even if he has had a bad few months!" Strauss yelled.

"Could we discuss this in a closed environment?"

"I feel as if something has changed in Dr. Reid and I don't care if you see it or not. The anti-social behaviour, the sickness he has; correct me if I'm wrong Agent Hotchner but I have my suspicions that these are withdrawal symptoms." Strauss gave a loud whisper.

"What? That's completely outrageous. How could you lead yourself to believe that a federal agent under my command is an addict? He wouldn't do that and I wouldn't let him!" Hotch was outraged. (Even though he secretly had his own suspicions).

Hotch and Strauss were completely oblivious to the fact that a police officer was eavesdropping on the entire conversation.

"Drug addict?" He muttered while giving off an incredibly sheepish smile.

"Hotch, Strauss: Garcia's found something." Morgan told them.

Hotch and Strauss walked back into the room, they joined the rest of the team.

"What is it Garcia?"

"I found somebody who was released early on Wednesday. Her name is Judy Grimshaw, she murdered her husband Nicholas Grimshaw in 2002 leaving behind a ten year old son named John."

"What do you have on the boy?" Reid asked while walking towards the team.

He received mixed expressions from his colleagues, the main one was confusion.

"He was put in juvenile at the age of twelve for burning down a building, he was also involved in a massacre preying on the town's cats and dogs." Garcia explained. "I'm not a profiler, however instinct tells me that this is your guy."

"Do you have the address of which his mother is staying?" Gideon asked.

"Yes, she re bought her previous home and is currently living there."

Garcia told them. "24 Orchid Street; in other words two blocks from here."

"Let's go." Hotch demanded.

The entire team picked up a bullet-proof vest each.

Hotch stopped Reid. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" Reid asked abruptly.

Hotch looked frustrated at the younger agent. "You just threw up in the restroom. Why do you want to come with us?"

Reid looked angrily at his boss. "I didn't know that every decision I make has to be carefully evaluated and confirmed by you!" He snapped.

Reid stormed off, furious with Hotch.

He walked around the corner to be halted by a police officer.

"Stop kid! I just want to talk to you."

"About what?" Reid asked him angrily.

"You're the addict ain't you? You can tell me, I can see the addiction in your eyes." His voice was musky and untrustworthy.

"W-What are you talking about?"

"I overheard that woman, what's her name?… Erin Strauss that's it! And Aaron Hotchner talking about you." He told Reid. "They have their suspicions. The suspicions are that you're a junkie, I think you need to be straight with them."

"Move out of my way." Reid exclaimed while pushing the police officer into the opposite side of the corridor.

He stormed outside and jumped into an SUV, unfortunately for him he was in the car alone with Derek Morgan.

"Are you okay pretty boy?"

"Don't call me that." Reid replied nastily.

Morgan began to drive the car. "You've never had a problem with me calling you pretty boy before."

"Yes Morgan I have. It's pure sarcasm because I'm not like you or Hotch. You call me that because you're comparing me to girls."

"Reid, that's not what I'm doing." Morgan told him defensively.

"Yes it is. You see me as some weedy kid who doesn't even belong in the FBI."

Morgan shook his head. "What is the matter with you?"

"What the Hell do you think? It's been like two weeks. Two fricken weeks and you expect me to be my normal, emotionless self. I am a person and you treat me like some kind of computer." Reid yelled.

Morgan began to grow more frustrated. "No offence Reid but I think you should have stayed at the station." He snapped.

"Why is that Morgan?"

"You coming here is just going to cause trouble!"

Morgan pulled over at the house.

They both jumped out of the car. "Trouble Morgan? Is that all you think of me? Just some liability?"

Reid got out his gun and walked into the house…without Morgan.

Morgan was adjusting his bulletproof vest and reloading his gun. "Reid?" He shouted.

Reid walked into the house. The Unsub was shouting at his mother.

As soon as he spotted Reid, he held the gun up to his mother's head.

"Come any closer and I'll shoot…I swear!" He screeched.

"Put down the gun." Reid demanded.

"Why the Hell should I?" He spat.

"To avoid inevitable death."

Morgan and Hotch ran in after Reid.

"Put down the gun!" Morgan yelled.

"It doesn't have to end like this." Reid attempted to negotiate.

"It does." The Unsub said bitterly.

The Unsub shot his mother; Morgan, Hotch and Reid firing at the same time.

The Police Station…

"Reid, can I speak with you?" Strauss asked.

Reid nodded his head and followed her.

"A rumour has been going around about you."

"I haven't heard it." Reid lied.

"Have you been using drugs?" She questioned.

Reid looked astonished. "No! Why would you even think that?"

"Are you?"

"No." He replied.

"We'll see about it when we get back to Quantico." She said sternly.

Reid suddenly felt sick again; he darted straight towards the restroom.

As he ran past the other members he didn't stop to talk.

"Reid, wait!" Morgan shouted.

"What's the matter with him?" JJ asked the team.

"He's been beyond anti-social." Prentiss stated.

"Hankel must have really gotten to him." Morgan told the team.

"He'll come around…eventually." Gideon sighed.

Reid came back to the team. He was pale and looked sick.

"Reid I'm taking you back to the hotel." Morgan demanded.

Reid pushed Morgan away. "I'm fine Morgan! I can make my own way back." He snapped.

"No kid, you're not. You're coming with me whether you like it or not."

"Go away Morgan…I'm fine." His voice turned from a high-pitched shout into a loud whisper. "Just leave me alone."

Reid stormed out of the police station, the team watched anxiously as they tried to figure out what was wrong with him.

Which meant that they would have to think the unthinkable.

Reid.

Reid slammed the door of his hotel room. He was mad with the team, with Strauss.

He wished that they wouldn't keep worrying, that they would leave him alone and that would be that; but keeping a secret never lasts when you work with a group of profilers.

Reid hated Strauss. He thought she was nasty, two faced and unreliable.

He couldn't rely on her for two seconds, she didn't care who she fired; she fired whoever she liked and didn't think twice about it.

And that meant that she wouldn't come close to hesitation if firing Reid.

He threw his bag onto the floor and sat down next to it, he took out the Dilaudid and syringe.

He injected it into his arm and let the fluid intoxicate his bloodstream.

He just didn't care anymore.

Within seconds, his head fell back and he went into an unconscious state.

The next morning…

Reid woke up. Late. He looked at the time and suddenly realised that the plane would be leaving in less than thirty minutes.

He felt that the team would be suspicious if he turned up in the same clothes he had worn the previous day, so he quickly got changed and threw all of his things into his bag.

When he got on the plane he was greeted by an array of annoyed and confused faces.

"Where were you Reid?" Hotch asked frustratedly.

"I woke up really late ad had to rush to the plane." He explained.

Hotch thought the situation was dubious; Strauss was furious.

Reid sat away from any other team member. He knew that he would probably feel nauseous during the flight and wanted to be closer to the jet's bathroom.

He was silent throughout the whole journey.

FBI Headquarters…

The BAU were in the briefing room. Strauss was rambling on about something the team couldn't care less about.

"…And then we get onto the case solution. We could have avoided the deaths. Reid, you shouldn't have wandered off and Garcia should have tracked down the Unsub before_"

Garcia interrupted. "But ma'am, it was extremely difficult."

"Reid wasn't contributing much." She continued.

Reid was astonished. He figured out who the Unsub was.

"No offence Strauss but you didn't contribute much either." Reid said bitterly.

Hotch stared deadly at Reid. "Back off!"

"No Hotch, Strauss is blaming us when she didn't do much to help with the investigation." Reid snapped.

Strauss looked angrily at Reid, Hotch scowled at him. "Out now!" He yelled.

Reid stormed out of the door. He clearly had a bad attitude at that moment in time.

Reid impatiently tapped his foot while listening to their conversation.

Hotch pushed open the door. "Reid, Strauss wants a meeting with the entire team."

"Now?"

"Right now."

Reid sat down in one of the chairs. He dreaded what she was going to say.

Strauss began. "I am seriously reconsidering the team I have in front of me. You are reckless, don't care and don't contribute as much as you should. Therefore, for the next three weeks I will be joining you on cases and if I spot any of you working below your ability I will have you re-assigned, maybe even fired. But I know full well that I will be able to get an immediate replacement. Understand?"

Strauss exited the room, leaving an eruption of disagreement.

"_How can you possibly find another tech-genius?"

"_This team is fine how it is."

"_Is something wrong with her?"

Everyone was arguing with each other over Strauss' decisions except Reid.

Reid sunk lower and lower in his seat as his train of thought kept going further.

"Reid? Reid? Are you okay?" Morgan was leaning over him.

Reid woke up, realising he must have passed out. He quickly stood up with encouraged his stomach to churn. "No, I'm not okay!" He snapped. "I know that Strauss hates me, I also acknowledge that I will be the first member to kiss goodbye to this team."

"You can't think like that Reid." JJ told him.

"Strauss hates this team. You can see it, how she constantly belittles us and finds it perfectly normal when doing so!"

"Reid…Stop thinking like that. Strauss doesn't hate us." Gideon explained.

Reid wasn't listening, he was busy trying to force himself to not throw us in front of his team.

"Gonna throw up_"Reid briefly grimaced in excruciating pain, he clutched his stomach and put his hand over his mouth.

He ran out of the door and into the restroom. He vomited in the toilet before leaning against the cubicle and pulling out the Dilaudid.

"Not now…" He said while clasping the bottles and pulling himself up from the floor.

**Please review. :)**


	3. Too far

**Hello readers, I just wanted to thank a few fanfiction users: I heart Reid 23, InfectedKid and mJF30 for following and favouriting Unfortunate. **

**I hope you like this chapter; fate takes a shocking turn for Reid which could jeopardise his chances of stating in the FBI.**

**Please review. :)**

The team got back to the FBI headquarters, each member had a whole load of paperwork to get through.

Reid began to get unbearable cravings for Dilaudid, he couldn't possibly focus on his work.

Reid got up from the chair, without making a fuss when attempting to walk out: he steadily walked towards the restroom to avoid attention.

As soon as he was out of the team's sight he ran straight into the restroom.

Reid double checked that no-one was there before getting out the drugs.

He leaned against the cubicle and slowly sat down onto the restroom floor, Reid stared morosely at the Dilaudid before levelling out the dosage and injecting it into his arm.

He woke up five minutes later, amazed that nobody had come looking for him. He pulled down his sleeve and hid the drugs in his brown messenger bag.

Reid weakly walked out of the restroom, he felt faint and sick.

He practically collapsed back into his chair.

"Are you okay Reid?" Morgan asked in concern.

Reid completely avoided eye contact. "I just feel a little tired." He lied.

Morgan was unconvinced. "Right…"

Reid got on with his paperwork, his reading was a little slower but still at a super-human speed.

He attempted to rush through the paperwork until Strauss came to see how her agents were getting along.

"Doctor Reid, how is your paperwork going?" She asked.

"Fine. Just fine." His voice was hoarse and slow which just fuelled her suspicions.

"Good." She replied while walking back to her office.

Reid held his head in his hands. He tried to act okay but in reality all he really wanted was to cry for help.

"Spence, you'll be okay you know." JJ said sweetly while putting her hand on his shoulder.

He briefly let her show compassion towards him.

He had to find help, the addiction could cost him his job.

He also had to keep it as discrete as possible; The FBI superiors would fire him on the spot if they found out.

JJ knew what was going on, she didn't want to ask him about it because she knew that it would kill him to have to explain.

She knew that Tobias was an addict, she also knew that he wanted to help Reid…

…Which meant giving him drugs to ease the pain.

JJ hated the fact that when Reid escaped from Hankel's power, he escaped a drug addict.

But it was time to deal with the facts.

JJ slowly walked away from him and back into her office.

Even though he didn't say it; Reid liked the seconds of comfort JJ provided for him…

…Especially when he was feeling so alone.

Reid gradually lifted his head, the lights were bright and bullpen was crowded. He didn't understand how he felt lonely.

The hours that remained dragged along like days, and Reid didn't feel as if he was getting anywhere with his paperwork.

"Reid, it's pretty late. Usually you would be on your way home by now." Hotch explained.

Reid jumped up. "Oh…right, I didn't realise the time."

He was working later than Aaron Hotchner.

Now that was saying something.

Reid picked up his bag and drowsily walked away from the bullpen.

Hotch's suspicions began to grow after that moment.

Reid got back to his apartment. The withdrawal was coming back to him, words couldn't describe how much he hated withdrawal.

He darted into the bathroom and began throwing up his entire stomach content into the toilet.

The pain was unbearable in itself, he despised how it made him feel so low.

And the only thing that could relieve it was more drugs.

Reid wiped his mouth and got out the drugs.

He hated doing this to himself.

He knew that he was the only one who could put an end to the addiction…

…But he just didn't know how.

So there he was, giving himself another dosage. Encouraging his addiction to become far worse.

He allowed hisself to get that moment of relief from something that could ruin his life.

The next day…

Reid suddenly awoke to the sound of an alert on his phone, he reached into his pocket and saw that there were ten messages from Hotch.

Reid read the latest one; he jumped up when he read the word 'case'.

He showered, got dressed and headed out of the door. Despite the fact that he felt terrible.

BAU.

"The briefing is in five minutes Reid, where have you been?" Morgan asked.

"I overslept." Reid replied while throwing his bag onto the desk.

"You know Reid, you don't look so good. Maybe you should sit this case out." Morgan suggested.

"I'm fine Morgan. Don't tell me what I can and can't do!" Reid snapped.

The team gathered for the briefing. And as she promised: Strauss was coming along too.

Garcia began. "Five women, all 26 and brunette where murdered in their homes this past week."

"Well there's the victimology." Rossi told the team.

Garcia continued. "They were shot in the head and nothing else."

Strauss' focus turned away from the screen and onto Reid; who was scratching his arm.

Dead giveaway.

"_Okay guys, wheels up in fifteen."

Strauss walked over to Reid. "Doctor Reid, may I speak with you?"

Reid followed Strauss into her office and sat down in the large chair opposite her desk.

"Are you sure you want to join us on this case?"

"Positive." Reid replied formally.

"So are you not feeling sick?" She asked.

"No." He lied.

"If I even see you so much as pull a facial expression that shows pain of some sort I will send you back to the hotel. Understand?" She demanded.

"Understood." Reid said while getting up from the chair.

"I'll be fine ma'am." He assured before closing the door behind him.

Everything he had just said was a lie.

The truth was that he didn't want to go on the case, he felt sick and he wasn't okay at all.

Even Strauss could see that.

The police station…

Reid and Prentiss were sent to visit the dump site, Reid was aiming for doing the geographical profile first but Hotch insisted on him starting with the dump site.

"So the body was dumped here." Reid stated. "It's virtually possible without somebody spotting."

"Next to a busy road, in the middle of a busy town." Prentiss continued.

"Nightclub across the street, along with the additional late night fast-food restaurant." Reid sighed. "These places are usually overcrowded with people - especially at night, how could they possibly dump a body here without a single person noticing?"

Reid was about to continue before clutching his stomach in severe pain.

"Are you okay Reid?"

Reid pulled his hand away and stood up straight. "I'm fine."

Prentiss began "You know I can take_"

"I said that I'm fine!" Reid snapped.

Prentiss rolled her eyes. "Are you sure Reid? You look as if you're gonna pass out."

Reid began "I'm f_" He then kneeled down and threw up on the ground.

"You sure about that?" Prentiss said sarcastically before gently rubbing small circles on his back.

"There was no need for the sarcasm." Reid coughed. "It wasn't funny."

"I'm taking you back to the hotel_"

"I don't want to go to the fricken hotel!" Reid yelled.

Prentiss sighed. "I don't know what you want me to do with you then."

Reid became frustrated. "Just take me back to the police station, have me work out a geographical profile. I can't see what's so complex about that!"

"Fine Reid." Prentiss said resignedly.

Police station.

Reid darted towards the map, he began plotting points and writing notes.

He eventually came to feel dizzy, he sat down the chair and thought about what to do.

The answer was fairly obvious.

He slung his brown messenger bag over his shoulder and darted towards the nearest restroom.

Reid shut the cubicle door and prepared his next dosage.

He sat down and impaled his skin with the sharp needle.

He then let the addictive fluid pass through into his bloodstream as he fell into an unconscious state…

…It was only a matter of time before someone came looking for him.

Prentiss came back with a coffee for Reid.

"Reid I have your coffee_" Prentiss stopped as soon as she realised he had gone.

She joined the rest of the team. "Have you seen Reid anywhere?"

"No." Morgan replied before continuing with the previous conversation.

Prentiss put down the two cups of coffee and began to look for Reid.

She double checked the previous room before looking outside the front door.

She tried calling his phone.

No answer.

An idea suddenly clicked as she found herself walking towards the male restrooms.

All she wanted was to find her friend, she didn't care if a bunch of douchebags made sexist remarks aimed at her.

She slowly opened the door and stepped inside, she looked in shock as she saw a fraction on Reid's converse peering out from under the door.

She knocked loudly on the door. "Reid! Reid! Open the door!"

No answer.

Prentiss raced back to the team.

She burst into the room. "Quickly, it's about Reid." She said breathlessly.

Morgan shot up from the chair and followed Prentiss into the restrooms.

"He's unresponsive." Prentiss informed.

Morgan tapped on the door. "Reid, it's Morgan. Answer me before I break the door down!"

No answer.

Morgan began to barge open the door, after three attempts; the lock finally snapped.

Morgan and Prentiss observed a lifeless Reid, laying on the floor next to a syringe and two bottles of Dilaudid. His sleeve was rolled up which revealed a myriad of syringe marks.

Morgan checked for a pulse, there was one but it was very faint.

Morgan picked Reid up and carried him out of the restroom.

Prentiss stared at the drugs left on the floor. "What have you done Reid?" She muttered to herself.


	4. Possibility of eviction

**Hello readers, I have another chapter for you to read.**

**Thank you for all of the reviews, follows and favourites. They mean a lot. :)**

**Please review. :)**

"What's happened?" Hotch yelled while running up to Morgan.

Morgan stopped briefly. "I think he's overdosed." Morgan theorised.

Gideon, JJ, Prentiss and Strauss caught up with them. "Is there a problem with Agent Reid?" Strauss asked.

"We need to get him to a hospital." Hotch informed. "Prentiss and Morgan stay with Reid, the rest of us will carry on working the case." He ordered.

Morgan and Prentiss ran to an SUV and put an unconscious Reid in the back seat.

"I hope he'll be okay." JJ sighed.

"That kid is probably the strongest out of all of us. It's just horrible that we have to see someone so young go through so much pain." Gideon replied.

"I know that our thoughts are on Reid but we have a case to solve." Hotch said monotonous.

In the SUV

Prentiss stayed in the back seat with Reid while Morgan raced down to the hospital.

"Morgan his pulse is dropping!" Prentiss yelled.

"We're nearly there now!"

After less than two minutes, Morgan quickly pulled up outside the hospital. He carried Reid through to the emergency room while Prentiss parked the car.

Morgan ran up to the front desk. "We need a doctor right now!" He informed. "His pulse is unhealthily low."

"Do you know the cause of this?" The receptionist asked.

Morgan hesitated for a second. "I have reason to believe that he has overdosed." He sighed.

Before he had to say anything else, a doctor came through and took Reid to a separate room.

Morgan was extremely frustrated that he wasn't allowed to go in. Prentiss joined him in the waiting room.

"Is he okay?" She asked in concern.

"I don't know, they won't let me in." Morgan said angrily.

"They should be done soon." Prentiss muttered. "Hopefully."

They weren't done soon after; more like two hours later.

"Are you relatives of Spencer Reid?" A nurse asked.

"Is he okay?" Prentiss asked quickly.

"He should come around soon." The nurse sighed. "He had far too much hydromorphone in his system, it's another overdose case really. When he regains consciousness we should be able to decide whether he can go home or not; until then it's just a waiting game."

"Can we see him?" Morgan questioned.

"Yes." The nurse said. "Right this way."

Prentiss and Morgan followed the nurse into Reid's hospital room; he lay asleep looking pale and ill.

She closed the door, leaving the two agents alone with Reid.

"Oh Reid…" Prentiss cried.

"What have you got yourself into?" Morgan asked the young agent.

They both sat down next to Reid's bed, wishing that they had confronted him about his addiction.

"I knew about it all along." Prentiss began. "I should have questioned him about it."

Morgan looked at her. "You and me both." He looked at the floor. "I should have confronted him. Maybe if I did then he wouldn't be in this position."

Morgan looked up to see Reid opening his eyes.

"Reid!" Morgan exclaimed.

"You're okay." Prentiss sighed in relief.

"W-Where am I?" Reid asked them weakly.

"The hospital Reid. Prentiss found you completely out-of-it in the restroom." Morgan explained.

"Will I be evicted from the FBI?" He asked.

Morgan and Prentiss looked at each other before breaking the silence.

"Honestly Reid we don't know." Prentiss told him.

Reid cried. "I couldn't stop myself, I just want it to end."

Morgan and Prentiss gave him a lifeless expression.

"Does Strauss know?"

Morgan nodded his head in sympathy. "She saw me carry you out of the building."

Reid closed his eyes. "I take it that this will get to the FBI superiors and they won't hesitate to kick me out of the bureau." He sobbed.

"I'm sorry Reid." Prentiss said quietly.

"Can I go now?" He asked. "I don't like it here."

"I don't think that it would be recommended_" Morgan began.

"I don't care!" Reid snapped. "I hate people seeing me like this! It kills me to let just you two see me this vulnerable. Chief Strauss will probably come into this room and evict me while I lay here. I'm still in the clothes that I was wearing when I came in so it can't be that serious!" He yelled while getting up from the hospital bed.

"Reid, you overdosed." Morgan reminded him.

"Don't say it like that. It just emphasises the fact that you see me as just another addict! I know that I overdosed, don't you think that it destroys me to have my colleagues knowing about it!" Reid shouted to Morgan.

"Reid, I didn't mean_"

"Mean what Morgan? You wanted to know what was wrong with me. Now you know that I am just a stupid, foolish junkie!"

Prentiss interrupted. "Reid, we don't see_"

"Prentiss I know you just want me to feel better, but the truth is that I'm not a genius anymore." His voice went quiet. "Just another addict, another fricken moronic drug addict! Don't you think a genius would be doing something constructive and not sitting on the restroom floor drowning out their thoughts with drugs? Because that's exactly what I was doing!" Reid yelled.

Reid walked towards the door. "Don't come after me." He said coldly.

He stormed out the room and through the corridor, Morgan and Prentiss ran out of the room and tried to find him…

…They had no luck what-so-ever.

Morgan got out his phone and called Hotch.

"Hotch, it's Morgan. Reid's gone!" He panicked.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Hotch yelled.

"I mean he got out of bed and walked out of the fricken hospital!" Morgan snapped.

"Well do you have any idea of where he's gone?" Hotch asked abruptly.

Morgan and Hotch were clearly getting on each other's nerves.

"None at all."

"I'll tell the team. Keep looking!" Hotch ordered.

Morgan slammed his phone onto the coffee table.

They were having no luck with the kid.

Morgan ran out of the hospital and darted around the streets, praying that he might find Reid.

Prentiss tried to catch up with him. "Morgan!" She yelled. "Wait!"

Morgan stopped and turned around. "I can't find him."

Prentiss finally caught up to Morgan. "If you were Reid and you were in this position where would you go?"

"If he wasn't an addict he'd be at the library. Maybe he's trying to get more drugs." Morgan suggested.

"He wouldn't be so stupid." Prentiss said with certainty.

"Prentiss, it's 21:45 pm, Reid is sick. His addiction might be too strong for him to resist." He sighed.

"Reid's stronger than that!" Prentiss yelled at Morgan.

"Reid is a weak kid Prentiss! He struggles to ask for help when he needs it, with a job like this one; one mistake can be enough to get kicked out. Of course he's not gonna ask for help!"

Prentiss looked disgustedly at the floor when she realised that Morgan was right. Reid was a weak kid.

She walked off in upset, she was mad with Reid, with Hankel and with the strict rules the FBI sets.

Her phone rang, she took it out of her pocket and looked at the caller ID.

"Aaron Hotchner? What does he want?" She asked herself.

She answered the phone and held it up to her ear.

"Hotch?"

"Prentiss, Reid returned to the station. He's not looking well." Hotch panicked.

"I'll be right there." Prentiss assured.

Prentiss put the phone back into her pocket.

Morgan ran up to her. "What is it Prentiss?"

"Reid's at the station. We need to go there!"

The station.

Morgan and Prentiss walked over to Reid.

His skin was almost ghostlike, he was shivering and kept shaking his foot.

"Are you okay Reid?" Prentiss asked kindly.

Reid didn't answer, he just looked ahead of him.

"Spencer?"

Morgan turned to Hotch. "Was he like this when he turned up?"

"No. Not as bad as this." Hotch replied completely emotionless.

"Will he stay in the FBI?" Morgan asked.

Hotch shrugged. "It's not up to me. At the moment his intelligence, his credentials are all he has to support him. If you're asking for my opinion then he has a small chance of staying with us."

Morgan looked away from Hotch and towards Reid. "The kid's had a tough life; being evicted would destroy him." He looked towards Hotch desperately trying to find an answer. "Isn't there something we can do?"

Hotch stared morosely at Reid. "You can try and convince Strauss; but I bet she's already made a decision." He sighed.

Morgan sprinted to the rest of the team. They were clearly worried about Reid.

Gideon began. "Morgan how's_"

Before Gideon could finish, Morgan had already answered. "Pretty bad. Strauss could I speak with you for a minute?"

Strauss got up and sternly walked towards the door. "Yes Agent Morgan, you may."

Morgan closed the door and turned opposite to Strauss. "What is Reid's chances of staying in the FBI?"

"I will need to discuss them with the superiors, but I would say that they are pretty slim." She replied monotonous.

Morgan looked at Strauss with an astonished expression. "Strauss, this kid is a genius. He has one of the best minds that I have ever seen; and in any other job he will be considered as 'odd' but in this job he is brilliant. Don't let this setback completely destroy your optimism in him."

"Agent Morgan, an overdose is a serious thing. No matter how good he is that will always be there as will the possibility that he could relapse at any given time." Strauss explained.

"I can't believe what I am hearing. Listen Strauss, do you really want to hold the knowledge of you firing Reid and him dying of an overdose as a result? He is a weak kid and is prone to addiction, kicking him out of the FBI will just make it worse for him!" Morgan snapped.

Morgan stormed off to visit Reid.

"Reid, you'll be okay." He said showing as much empathy as he possibly could.

"I like this job Morgan." Reid replied, showing his vulnerability.

"I know you do Reid; and I'm gonna make sure that you stay in this job."

"The chances of me staying in this job are like zero to one. I have no chance."


	5. It's up to you

**This chapter is really short, but stay in tune for later chapters. :)**

**Please review. :)**

Strauss walked into the room where Reid was located.

She turned to the agents surrounding him. "Could I speak with Doctor Reid in private please?" She asked sternly.

Morgan raised his eyebrows and stormed out, the others following him.

Strauss calmly walked over to Spencer Reid. "Doctor Reid, how are you?" She asked sympathetically.

He looked up at her. "You know ma'am, I've heard some pretty stupid questions throughout my life; but that has jumped to the top of the list." He snapped.

"Just hear me out Reid." She started. "I think that you're a good agent and I acknowledge that this past month hasn't been great_"

"I didn't want the drugs_" He cried.

"I know you didn't."

"The first dose I hated, but it helped which is why I let him give me the second." He sighed. "I was waiting for the third."

Strauss tried to be empathetic. "You don't have to explain yourself."

Reid held his head in his hands. "Are you going to evict me from the FBI?" He asked.

Strauss looked Reid in the eye as she sat down at the table. "Listen Reid, here's what will happen: I am going to give you one chance to get off drugs. If you break your chance then I will kick you out of the FBI and have your team members re assigned to different units. Do you understand?" She explained in detail.

Reid weakly nodded his head in agreement. "I understand." His voice cracked as he said it.

"I'll get Agent Morgan to take you back to the hotel."

The hotel…

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay for five minutes?" Morgan asked Reid.

Reid began to close the door. "I'll be fine." He assured.

Reid sat on the floor of his hotel room. Now it wasn't just himself relying on getting off the drugs, the entire team did too.

He gazed pointlessly at the ceiling before rolling up his sleeves and staring at the injection marks he had made.

Reid grimaced as he rolled his sleeves down, he hated his team seeing him like this.

He stumbled to his feet and walked over to the bedroom, he lay lifelessly on the bed.

He had no drugs to take away the pain.

Reid hated his team for interfering, Tobias Hankel for making him an addict, and himself for not being able to resist it.

But the drugs were all that he wanted…

…All that he convinced himself he needed.

He knew that he would easily be able to access them when he got back to Virginia.

The team would be so ashamed.

He would be so ashamed.

The temptation was too great for him to resist…

…Even though he wished that he had the strength to resist.


	6. Just leave me alone

Less than 24 hours later the team were back in Virginia. Reid went straight back to his apartment and sat at the table.

He gazed into the distance; he didn't like what he had become.

He got up from the table and paced aimlessly around his apartment. Anything that would keep him from going into the bathroom cabinet.

He kept up the aimless pacing for fifteen minutes, he couldn't resist having easy access to drugs which he 'needed' more than anything else.

Reid anxiously walked into the bathroom, he walked towards the wall cabinet which had a fairly large mirror at the front.

Reid stared morosely at his reflection. He thought to himself 'do I really want to do this?'

"The last one." He muttered. "No more afterwards." He promised himself.

He probably wouldn't keep the promise.

He opened the cabinet revealing his bottle of Dilaudid, syringe and vial.

He snatched them from the shelf and quickly closed the door.

"Last one." He mumbled while preparing it.

He sat on the floor and injected the narcotic into his system.

He could feel the release; release from all of the pain he had suffered, the abandonment, the bullying, Tobias Hankel. He felt free of everything that had ever held him down. He felt comfort in his high state.

Despite the freedom, the only thing that overpowered it was the feeling of shame; the knowledge of the fact that this was one of many unkept promises, the shame of taking the drug even though he promised the team he wouldn't, and the shame that he was the only one who could fix the situation. But he couldn't fix the situation.

Reid heard a loud knock at the door, he drowsily got up and cleared away the syringe, vial and Dilaudid.

He strolled over, quickly pulling down his sleeve. He sleepily answered the door.

It was the always-cheerful Penelope Garcia.

"I came to cheer you up." She said sweetly while walking inside the apartment.

"Are you okay Reid?" She asked.

"I was just sleeping before you came over." He lied.

Garcia nodded before sitting down. "Morgan told me about_"

Reid interrupted. "About my addiction?" His voice was slurred.

Garcia looked at him sympathetically before turning her eyes another way. "It isn't your fault."

Reid looked nervously at the tech-genius. "I'm sorry." He whimpered.

"You don't have to apologise Reid, even if you're an_"

"An addict?" Reid snapped. "So that's all you see me as Garcia?"

"Reid you didn't let me finish!" Garcia yelled defensively.

"It doesn't matter! I am an addict! If you're trying to say that you'd do everything in your power to help me then don't lie to me." He paused. "And don't lie to yourself."

Garcia put her hand on Reid's shoulder before him quickly pushing it off. "Don't pretend Penelope, if you help me your job is automatically on the line."

"I do want to help_"

Reid interrupted. "If you wanted to help, then you would leave my apartment." He sighed.

Garcia looked at him. "Please don't be like this."

"Just get out Penelope!" His voice went quiet. "I just want to be alone."

Garcia slowly got up and stopped before she got to the door.

"Just call me if you need anything." She said sympathetically.

Reid didn't answer her, he just awkwardly turned his head away.

Garcia walked out of the apartment and silently closed the door behind her.

She left Reid to wallow in self pity, he didn't want her help.

Even though it was everything that he needed.

He felt like a total failure, he had used his genius for every challenge that ever came to him.

But it wouldn't help him in this challenge.

He had to return to work in the morning, 'great' he thought. 'Another day of Erin Strauss constantly looking over my shoulder.'

Reid locked his apartment door, he lay down on the leather sofa and dozed off. He wanted to keep himself from taking another dosage.

It didn't last.

Reid awoke hours later, it was around two in the morning. He wandered into the bathroom and took out the drugs.

"I'm so sorry." He whimpered while piercing his arm with the sharp syringe.

**Please review. :)**


	7. Rules

**Hello readers, **

**Thank you for all of the reviews I have received, your contributions mean a lot.**

**I hope that you like this chapter. :)**

**Please review. :)**

Strauss was on Reid's case as soon as he walked through the door.

He desperately wanted her to leave him alone, for her to just go into her office and remain there until the end of the day.

"Agent Reid? Reid!" She yelled.

"What is it!" He snapped.

"I've been trying to talk to you but your mind keeps wandering off!"

Reid looked at her in fury. "Will you just leave me alone?" He asked abruptly.

Strauss stared at Reid in anger before throwing the papers onto his desk and storming over to Hotch's office.

Reid watched her enter through the door, he knew that she would be discussing him; but he was glad that she had left him alone.

"Agent Hotchner." Strauss began.

"Ma'am."

"This is about Dr. Reid." She informed.

Hotch looked up from his work and towards an annoyed Strauss.

"Yes."

"I don't think he is making any progress."

Hotch sighed in frustration. "He will, you just have to give him time."

"Time? Time Agent Hotchner? I want my Agent working, using this amazing mind he possesses for keeping focused on the job." She paused to shake her head. "Not wasting it on abusing drugs."

Hotch looked her dead in the eye. "He was kidnapped just over one month ago; he was beaten, drugged and tortured. I saw him convulse on the floor, do you really expect him to get over this recent trauma that quickly?" Hotch asked morally.

Strauss' decision never changed. "Just remember Agent Hotchner, your entire team is on the line. Don't forget that." She said coldly.

As soon as Reid saw Strauss come out of Hotch's he knew he was to be consulted immediately.

Strauss saw him looking over at her, she signalled for him to follow her.

Reid resignedly got up from his seat and ambled over to Strauss' office.

"Sit down Agent Reid." She ordered while pointing to a chair.

Reid anxiously sat in the chair, watching Strauss' every move.

She sat opposite him and looked him straight into the eye.

"Have you been making any progress Doctor Reid?" She asked.

Reid nervously rubbed his arm and turned to look at the clock.

"Is there somewhere you're supposed to be?" She asked sarcastically.

Reid shook his head and tried to keep focus.

"Doctor Reid, you never answered my question."

Reid thought that lying might help. "Yes ma'am." His voice shook. "I have made some progress."

Strauss raised her eyebrows. "Why do I not believe that?"

"It-It's the truth." Reid lied.

Strauss looked at his arms. "Roll up your sleeves." She demanded.

Reid looked at her. "Why?"

"No questioning. Just do it!" She ordered.

Reid looked anguished. "No ma'am, that's a violation." He revolted. "I refuse."

Strauss shook her head and got up out of the chair.

"Wait. What are you doing?" He asked.

Strauss stopped. "I'm getting a few FBI superiors to deal with you."

Strauss carried on walking until she had reached the door.

"No, ma'am, please!" Reid begged.

Strauss paused for a second, but then opened the door and closed it behind her.

Reid held his head in his hands. He wasn't getting out of this one, not even a small fraction of a chance.

Reid jumped as he heard the door open.

She wasn't joking about this one.

Two superiors walked through the door.

One was male, he was wearing a smart-looking suit and had dark brown hair.

The other was female. She was wearing an expensive-looking suit, her hair was short and light brown.

Reid was somewhat intimidated by them; besides they were the people who wouldn't hesitate to end his career.

They sat opposite him, carefully observing his every move.

Reid automatically felt as if they were judging him.

"Agent Reid." The female began. "My name is Marcia Andrews but I'd prefer it if you were to call me Miss Andrews."

"My name is Robert Smithson but just call me by my last name."

Strauss continued. "Shall I inform them?" She asked Reid.

Reid nodded his head in shame.

"Last month Doctor Reid was kidnapped_"

"We were informed." Andrews interrupted.

"Right." Strauss replied. "He was drugged and developed an addiction_"

"Addiction?" Smithson asked. "We don't tolerate drug users in the FBI." He looked at poor Reid in angriness.

Reid sank into his chair.

"His team either knew or had their suspicions about this." Strauss sighed.

Andrews shook her head in disgrace. "This is outrageous."

Reid grimaced to himself - they weren't going to let him off.

"And what do you have to say about this Agent Reid?" Smithson asked.

Reid took a deep breath. "I can change, just give me time and I can change." He pleaded.

Strauss tried to get him out of the trouble. "I knew about this and told him that I would fire him if he didn't recover from the addiction."

That only made matters worse.

"So you promised to stay off the drugs and immediately forbade your section chief?" Andrews yelled.

Reid didn't say anything, he just looked towards the floor.

"Answer me!"

Strauss interrupted. "Don't take this all out on him! We did nothing about it, the whole team! At least blame some of it on us!"

Smithson scowled over at Strauss. "Bring the entire BAU into this room, I want a discussion with every one of them."

Strauss stormed out of the door and grabbed the existing members of the BAU, demanding for them to come straight into her office.

The team gathered up into the large office, despite having a large area; the ten people made it look incredibly small.

"I've heard that you all knew about Agent Reid's drug addiction." Andrews began.

"We did." Hotch informed.

"Why didn't you inform us?"

Gideon interrupted. "Listen, this kid has been to hell and back. If you saw what he went through I know that you'd give him a second chance too."

"An addiction is a serious matter. What is the drug of choice?" Smithson asked.

"D-Dilaudid." Reid mumbled.

Smithson gave him a blank expression. "Would you please speak up."

"Di-lau-did." Reid repeated abruptly.

"Do not speak to him like that Reid." Strauss said firmly.

"Let me see your arms." Andrews demanded.

Reid looked up and widened his eyes. "What? No!"

Reid could feel the humiliation burning up inside of him, he didn't want to show his own team the injection marks, never mind his superiors.

"Do it Agent Reid." Smithson ordered.

"No." Reid protested.

The two superiors gritted their teeth as someone dared to defy them.

"Do it Reid." Hotch said. (Even though he knew that it wasn't right).

Reid looked over to his team, then to Strauss and finally to the superiors. "Fine!" He resigned. "If it means that much to you."

Reid aggressively rolled up his sleeves to reveal an array of old and new injection marks.

He closed his eyes as the superiors observed his shame. He wished that this wasn't happening.

That it was all but a dream.

Reid pulled his arms off the table and rolled his sleeves back down. No-one would ever understand how ashamed, how embarrassed he was feeling at that moment.

"How has Agent Reid been while working on cases?" Andrews deliberately looked at Hotch.

Hotch looked at Strauss for answers.

Before Hotch could even think about giving an answer Reid had already interrupted. "How do you think I've been while working on cases?"

"Well did you help much with the last one?"

Reid looked at the team, almost signalling them to not mention what happened during the previous case.

"Is there a problem?" Smithson asked slyly.

Nobody answered.

"Strauss do you know if Reid worked to his maximum potential during the last case?"

Strauss glanced up at the clock.

"Chief Strauss, if you don't give me some idea of the events that went off during the previous case then I will be searching for a new section chief!" Smithson threatened.

Strauss looked over at Reid. "Just tell them." The young agent sighed.

"We need to know." Andrews informed.

Strauss shut her eyes before opening them and being straight with the superiors that sat in front of her. "Agent Reid." She sighed. "Agent Reid had an overdose during the last case."

The superiors stared at her with wide eyes.

"Overdose?" Andrews asked.

Strauss nodded her head in upset. She felt like it was the hardest thing she ever had to do.

The team stood in silence as they waited for an order.

Andrews looked up to the team. "All of you except Strauss can leave. Now!"

They dispersed from the crowded room. Reid ambled behind his soon-to-be former colleagues.

Gideon put his arm over Reid's shoulder. "No matter what happens Spencer, I'm always there for you." He said empathetically.

Reid didn't care anymore, he let himself cry in front of Gideon. "I'm weak. I could have fixed this but I didn't, I just sat feeling sorry for myself and now I'm gonna be fired and the team will be re-assigned."

Gideon led Reid into his office. He let Reid sit in the chair opposite his desk and he closed the door.

"Reid, listen, your credentials allow you to get any job you please. You can get over this addiction and you will get over it. You're only twenty five, you know that a lot of people your age are still studying and you're finished with all of that. If you do have to leave the FBI, your intelligence can possibly take you further. Don't let this hold you down."

Reid sobbed. "I really like this job, the team, why is that all being taken away from me?"

"You can either view this as a step backward or a step forward. If you do view it as a step forward something to build on and learn from then you can do something else with your life. You're a genius, work it out."

Hotch entered Gideon's office. "They've made their decision."


	8. Terrified

**The final decision has been made; what will happen to Reid and the BAU? I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)**

**Thank you for all the views, follows favourites and reviews I have had recently, they mean a lot. **

**Please review.**

The superiors decided to take the discussion into a larger room, the room had a long wooden table in order for the entire team to sit around.

Reid slumped in one of the many chairs, he knew exactly what was coming.

Andrews and Smithson never took their eyes off him, every move he made was carefully observed by them.

The thing he dreaded the most was having to get up and throw up in the middle of the 'meeting'.

The severe withdrawal symptoms would be sure to come back soon.

"Agent Reid." Andrews began. "We have come up with a final decision of what to do with you and the rest of your team."

Smithson added. "First of all we need to discuss you."

Reid rolled his eyes and turned to Strauss, who was looking towards the floor.

"You are a drug user right?" Smithson asked.

Reid nodded his head in shame.

"The bureau doesn't tolerate anyone who has a drug problem."

"I know." Reid replied quietly.

Smithson gave Reid a deathly scowl. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Reid turned from ashamed and quiet to extremely frustrated with Smithson. "What do you expect me to say for myself?" He snapped and put on a mimicking voice. "I'm sorry?" He gritted his teeth. "You are belittling me, don't even attempt to deny it because you are. I know what I've been doing! I know full well that it's against regulations! Don't you think that it fucking kills me to get relief from something that has destroyed me?" Reid cursed, shocking the superiors and his teammates. "You have no idea how ashamed I am to repeatedly abuse myself, my job and my friends by making everyone surrounding me watch me fall to pieces."

Andrews looked at Reid, portraying little sympathy for him. "I understand_"

Reid interrupted. "Understand what? You have absolutely no idea of what I'm going through right now! You've never been kidnapped, drugged and beaten over a course of two days. You were probably thinking that I chose to turn to drugs, I didn't choose it. They were forced into me."

"We never suggested that you did choose to turn to drugs."

Reid looked at them. "You were probably thinking it." He replied bitterly.

Andrews and Smithson didn't deny that. "Agent Reid." Smithson started. "I know that you're having identity issues_"

Reid lifted one eyebrow. "Identity issues? I don't have identity issues!" He denied. "I know who I am. I never chose to take drugs, I knew that this would happen if I did which is why I had always stayed clear of them!"

Smithson held out his hands. "Listen, we have come to the final decision of evicting you from the FBI."

"What?" Reid asked quietly.

Smithson wanted to sound as empathetic as possible. "I'm sorry. We just can't possibly keep you in the bureau."

Reid held his head in his hands, how could he possibly sink this low?

Andrews continued. "We have decided to re-assign the following members_"

The team looked at her in shock; they knew their position was not even close to Reid's but still prayed for it to not be them that was to be re-assigned.

Andrews called out the names. "Derek Morgan, Emily Prentiss and Aaron Hotchner."

The entire team stared wide-eyed.

"You three will be moving to different units because you knew the most information about Reid's drug problem and never thought to consult us." She said sternly.

Reid then began to feel incredibly guilty.

Morgan, Prentiss and Hotch all looked at each other, completely stunned by the final outcome.

"You can all go now." Andrews said nastily. "Reid, I want your gun and credentials back."

Reid tiredly took out his FBI credentials and gun out of the holster. He slammed them down onto the table.

Reid then stormed out. He didn't care about what they thought of him anymore.

He sat at his desk and piled all of his unfinished paperwork, moving it to the other side of the table.

He got his satchel and threw all of his writing equipment, geometry sets and his books inside the satchel.

"Hey, kid, calm down!" Morgan told him.

"Calm down?" Reid yelled. "You expect me to calm down? Morgan I've just been fired! Fired from a job that I like, don't tell me to calm down!"

Morgan looked at Reid. "I've just been re assigned. I'm not in a particularly great position either."

Reid sighed. "At least you haven't been kicked out of the FBI."

Before Morgan could answer Reid got up from his seat and darted straight towards the two superiors.

He burst into the room, hoping that they would give him and the team one last chance.

"What is it?" Andrews asked abruptly.

Reid pulled over the whiteboard from the corner of the room.

"What are you doing?"

Reid threw his bag onto the floor and picked up a board pen.

"Describe a victim." He demanded.

"What is this for?"

"Just do it, I don't care how you describe them."

Andrews gave in. "Female, dark brown hair at shoulder length, expensive taste in clothes, thin, brown eyes_"

"Describe somebody else."

"Another female, thin, fashionable, tall, long red hair."

Reid noted down the details onto the board.

"Choose the method of the murder." He ordered.

Smithson snapped. "Get out! You're not helping yourself by trying to prove that you were a good agent. Maybe you were, it doesn't even matter anymore because you blew it when you chose the drugs!"

Reid quickly approached them. "Please let me have my job back." He pleaded. "I'll do anything."

Smithson grabbed Reid and pushed him out of the door. "You're not getting it back!" He yelled.

* * *

Reid slowly walked into his apartment, he angrily slammed the door shut.

He didn't care anymore.

He didn't care what other people thought of him, he didn't hesitate to use the drugs again.

He pulled the vial full of Dilaudid out of his pocket and prepared the syringe.

Reid told himself that he had screwed up worse than he ever had done before, so it didn't matter if he took another dose, it didn't matter if he didn't take another dose ever again - he still wasn't getting back into the FBI.

Just as he was about to inject himself with the addictive substance, JJ walked into his apartment and saw exactly what he was about to do.

"No Spence, it won't help you." She said while walking towards him.

JJ sat down of the floor next to him, "It's not helping you." she assured.

Reid didn't say anything, he was just waiting for her to leave.

JJ attempted to take the syringe off of Reid. "Get off!" He yelled at her.

Reid dropped the syringe onto the floor before having his arms restrained by JJ. "Listen Reid, this drug is just making everything worse for you." She shouted. "Just leave it! Don't take it. What would your mother think if she saw you like this?"

Reid pushed JJ away. "Don't bring her into this!"

Reid picked the syringe up off the floor, he was about to take it before being hit around the face by JJ.

"Look at yourself Spencer!" She shrieked. "You're depending on a drug that has already destroyed you! Please just give it up, give it up for me."

JJ snatched the syringe away from Reid and threw it across the room, Reid watched it hit the floor.

"What was that for Jennifer?" He yelled as he stumbled across the floor to pick it up.

"You don't need them Spencer! You know that!" JJ attempted to make him see some sense.

Reid scowled over to her. "I do need them! And I want them!" Reid weakly sat on the floor, leaning against the wall.

JJ grimaced to herself as she realised what Reid had become, and how she couldn't do anything about it.

"Spence." She said softly as she walked over to the shell of Dr. Spencer Reid. "Please don't take it." She sighed. "It will just make you worse."

"I don't care what you say JJ, I want to take the drugs."

JJ huffed. "You can get over it, I'll help you."

Reid stared morosely at the syringe. "I don't want your help." He replied dryly.

With that, Reid pushed the needle into his arm.

"Don't even think about it." JJ ordered.

Reid looked at her. "Get out." He demanded.

"No." JJ protested.

"I said for you to get out of my apartment, go home JJ! I don't need you!" He shouted.

JJ sat down next to him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Do you really want to help me?"

JJ looked at him completely anguished. "Of course I do."

"Inject the dilaudid into my system." He demanded impudently.

JJ's eyes widened. "What? No! I'm not fuelling your addiction." She revolted.

Reid shook his head. "Get out then."

JJ looked at the seriousness portrayed in his eyes. "I'm not leaving you." She insisted.

"Well you'll have to watch me give myself another dose." Reid taunted.

"Please don't." JJ pleaded.

Reid shrugged. "Well get out then."

JJ resignedly got up from the floor and looked at Reid.

"GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT JENNIFER!" He shouted.

JJ walked to the apartment door, trying hard to stop herself from crying. She slowly opened the door and took one last glance at Reid, who was waiting for her to leave.

"I want to help." She whimpered.

Reid continued to scowl at her until she had left and shut the door behind her.

When he knew that she had completely gone, he pushed the intoxicating fluid into his bloodstream, causing his head to jerk backwards and his body to get that sense of release which lasted no longer than fifteen minutes.


	9. Help

**Thank you for all of the reviews I have been receiving, your feedback is greatly appreciated.**

**This chapter has been harder to write because of events that went off in the last chapter.**

**Some curse words but not many at all.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and please give a review if you have the time. :) **

* * *

Reid woke up, it was early in the morning and everything was quiet. Unnaturally quiet. Reid got up from the uncomfortable floor and stumbled over to the bathroom.

He felt sick again, the withdrawal symptoms were hitting him like they always did. He threw up in the toilet, Reid pulled himself off the bathroom floor and prepared his next dosage.

He hated being like this, he hated using drugs and he hated the fact that he needed them and the short relief it gave him more than anything else.

Sometimes he would go through old voicemail or text messages that were sent before he was an addict. Just to remind himself that he wasn't always like this.

But he felt as if he couldn't keep living in the past.

Every time he thought about that, he also got the feeling of looking towards a future that wasn't going to be there. He knew that if he carried on living this way he is going to die.

"Thank for nothing." He said bitterly while injecting the Dilaudid into his arm; leaving a temporary mark and another dose to fuel his addiction. He could feel the release as soon as the fluid got into his bloodstream, as soon as that release hit him he didn't care about anything or anyone.

Reid's head jerked back onto the wall before tilting slightly as his shoulders relaxed. He knew it wouldn't last very long.

* * *

He could feel the pain as soon as he woke up thirty minutes later, that temporary relief he always got in his high state was always completely regretted when the excruciating agony came back as he awoke.

He was surprised that none of the BAU agents had come to see him yet. _To help him yet. _Reid needed help, but didn't want it.

So there he was: wallowing in his own self pity. Not giving any sympathy for Hotch, Prentiss or Morgan who were re-assigned mainly because of the knowledge of his drug addiction.

But he had it ten times worse.

This time exactly one year previous, he was in the BAU, Elle was there, he was happy as were the team. Everything was fine. _He had no idea that this would happen to him._

Reid jumped as he heard a loud knock on the door.

"Who is it?" He asked himself.

He opened the door to find JJ with Penelope Garcia. They might as well have had the word 'empathy' written on their foreheads.

"What do you want?" Reid asked abruptly.

JJ and Garcia looked at each other. "We want to help you Spence." JJ said softly.

Reid rolled his eyes and scowled at JJ. "It's funny Jennifer because yesterday you had a pretty good idea of how to help me." He said sarcastically.

JJ looked sympathetically at Reid. "I'm sorry about that_"

Reid shook his head. "I don't want to hear it. Talking is one thing, but hitting me around the face is another. "

JJ looked as if she was about to burst into floods of tears. She had no idea he took it that seriously, she had no idea that he even remembered that moment. "It killed me to see you in so much pain, it killed me to watch you prepare yourself for another dose of that evil drug. I want to help you get better."

Garcia added. "Please let us help Reid. We want you better more than anything, having to watch you throw your life away like it's nothing is hurting us more than anything."

Reid gave her an emotionless expression. "JJ should have thought about that before splitting up and going to the fucking barn." He scoffed.

Fury lit up in Garcia's usually bright, positive eyes. "That's not fair Reid, JJ feels guilty as it is without you blaming your mistakes on her."

Reid turned unusually nasty. "My mistakes? No offence Garcia, but if we hadn't have split up then I wouldn't have been kidnapped and I would probably still be in the FBI right now. So both of you do me a favor and go back to work because I really don't want to see you." He responded bitterly.

"Spence please..."

"Save it."

"Spencer you are being completely unreasonable." Garcia continued. "JJ is not to blame for this god damn addiction that you have. I like you Spencer I really do, but not when you're being like this."

Reid went to slam the door before it coming thas halt by JJ's foot.

"Don't Spencer." She demanded.

Reid stared coldly at the two women. "Don't tell me what to do." He said rebelliously, closing the door on them.

* * *

Reid nervously scratched his arm while weakly walking to make himself a coffee. Another thing that he lead himself on to believe that he needed.

Reid lay on his bed. He stared morosely at the ceiling, then at the dark curtain which masked out any light trying to get into his apartment, and then he stared into the mirror. His own reflection made him grimace.

He wished everything would go back to how it was before. He knew that everyone thought he was a disgrace to the bureau. _Or only he believed_ that.

He wasn't surprised about the eviction. He could see it coming as soon as he took the drugs from Tobias Hankel.

And now he couldn't stop taking them.

He wanted the power to completely stop using, but he wasn't strong enough.

He didn't think he would ever be able to pick up the strength to turn his back on them.

So he picked up the syringe and vial of dilaudid. He prepared himself for the next dose.

He hated himself for this.

"I'm sorry." He muttered while injecting the syringe into his arm.

Help was everything that he needed.


	10. Take it too far

_Do it Spencer, I just don't care anymore._

* * *

Spencer Reid woke up in a cold sweat. He was lying on the bathroom floor, again. After being completely knocked out from yet another dose of Dilaudid. It wasn't even the morning, it was ten-at-night, he felt sick and exhausted; he hated feeling so unwell, so tired.

It had been two days since he was fired, there was no moral he had picked up from that experience; just the fact that life is tough, you have to get it right.

He wanted to get out, he'd been in his apartment for two days straight; taking drugs and drinking coffee.

He pulled himself up from the floor and grabbed his car keys. _Are you sure you should be driving? _Was the question that came to his mind, he didn't know how long it had been since he had his last dose.

Reid got into his car and drove over to Hotch's house. Fortunately he wasn't involved in any car collisions along the way.

Reid knocked on the door. He waited a few seconds before being greeted by Haley.

"Spencer, how can I help you?" She asked nicely.

"Is Hotch in?" He asked.

Haley pointed to the living room. "He's just through there."

Reid walked into the living room, Aaron Hotchner was typing on a laptop before looking up to see a sick-looking Dr. Spencer Reid.

"Reid." He said while staring sympathetically at the former agent. "Sit down."

Reid awkwardly sat down in the chair near Hotch. "I hate letting you see me like this." Reid sighed.

"You don't look yourself."

Reid's hair was unkempt, he had unnaturally dark circles around his eyes, his clothes were creased and his voice was hoarse. Anyone could see that he was using drugs.

"Do you want a drink or something?" Hotch asked.

Reid shook his head and looked towards the floor.

"Have you used recently?" Hotch questioned.

Reid nodded his head in pure shame. "I can't stop myself."

Hotch sighed. "You can Reid, that's what they all say_"

Reid interrupted. "That's what they all say?" He repeated abruptly. "Are you profiling me Hotch?"

Hotch put his hands up in defence. "No Reid I'm not!" He replied.

"I came here for your help. I don't want you to judge me."

I'm not judging you Reid. We all want to help but you sure do make it hard for us" Hotch explained.

"Hotch, I've been kicked out of the FBI. I've been angry and confused about the situation since I walked out the front door of the FBI headquarters. I hate asking for help, I hate being this situation, all I ever do is feel sorry for myself."

Hotch looked at Reid. "If you really try to get clean off the drugs they might accept you back. But it's highly unlikely."

Reid rolled his eyes. "I'm never getting back in."

"Don't think like that Reid_"

"I'm a fucking drug addict!" Reid yelled. "Do you really think that they will let some moronic junkie back into the FBI? Because the chances are too slim."

"Reid, would you not shout? Jack and Haley are upstairs."

Reid wanted to control his frustration, but couldn't. "Forget it Hotch. I don't need anyone's help."

Reid stormed out of the living room and walked out of the front door, Hotch ran after him.

"Reid wait!" He shouted before grabbing the young man's arm and pulling him back slightly.

"Get off me!" Reid yelled.

"Should you be driving?" Hotch asked, immediately regretting what he said afterwards.

Reid pushed Hotch away. "Oh, so that's what you think of me." Reid said aggravated. "Do you think I'm high right now? Do you think I'm going to crash my fucking car? Leave me alone Hotch, you clearly have better things to do." Reid said while climbing into the driver's seat of his old car.

"I didn't mean that!" Hotch informed while running his hand through his dark hair.

Reid ignored him and drove off into the distance, Hotch couldn't help but feel like the younger man was a driving hazard.

* * *

Reid was frustrated, upset. Why was he so sensitive? He was driving unbelievably fast, perhaps too fast; it was unusual for him to go over sixty miles per hour, he was doing almost eighty.

He was mad with Hotch for accidentally insulting him, he was mad with JJ and Garcia for inferring, he was mad with Strauss for involving the superiors and he was mad with himself for everything.

Millions of thoughts went through his head all at once as he was trying to concentrate on the road, it made it almost impossible for him to drive; he turned on the radio to drown out his thoughts in a way.

_Jimmy you lied, I'm hoping that soon maybe life it don't pass you by._

_So Jimmy gets high tonight._

_And Jimmy you know, everybody hates you when you're living off your rock 'n roll._

_So you get high tonight._

_Relevant _Spencer thought to himself, but all he could hear was:

_Spencer you lied, I'm hoping soon maybe life it don't pass you by._

_So Spencer gets high tonight._

_And Spencer you know, that everybody hates you when you're living off of rock 'n' roll._

_So Spencer gets high tonight._

_'Cause you don't need nobody to make it on your own; and you don't need nobody you'd rather be alone._

* * *

It was a miracle that Reid made it back to his apartment without any crashes, tickets, or invites to a local police station.

He ambled through the door, locking it as soon as he found his keys. He reached for the Dilaudid in his satchel and slumped on the leather chair.

He had enough Dilaudid in the vial for three to four doses, he had to go and get some more from the store.

_Take the drugs, now that's the thing you can do best. _Hovered around Reid's mind as he let himself get high on the very drug that ended his career in the FBI.


	11. Yet another bad decision

**Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, I've just been a little busy. I had more time on my hands so I figured that I would write another chapter in the meantime.**

**More than likely to be some language in this chapter like there has been in the last few, some violence towards the end.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Please review and tell me what you think of it. :)**

* * *

"Why?" Reid asked as he pulled himself up. "Stupid Hotch, profiling me like that. I don't even want his help anyway." Reid muttered bitterly, not caring that he was talking to his self. Reid made a coffee, he sat down at the table and read a book while sipping the coffee; his reading was significantly slower, but faster that the average human.

Once he had finished the book about twenty minutes later, he trudged towards the bathroom cabinet to get another dose of dilaudid, he opened the cabinet and gave off a shocked expression. The Dilaudid was gone. "What?" Reid said in frustration. "I thought I had some left."

For two hours Reid tore his apartment to pieces looking for the 'precious' drug that he needed so badly; his needs for the drug were worse than they had been before. He desperately wanted the addictive narcotic.

"Where is it?" Reid yelled, he viciously pulled down the bookshelf, causing the collection of books to scatter across the floor. Still none. "I definitely had some yesterday."

Reid grabbed his coat and reached for his keys before realising that it was unlocked. "I locked it last night." He said to himself in confusion. He examined the lock and realised that they must have had a key, no forced entry.

"Hotch." He whispered. Reid got out his phone and called Aaron Hotchner, he was the only person he saw yesterday - Hotch knew that Reid carried two keys in case he lost one throughout the day.

"Hotch, did you steal a key to my apartment?" Reid asked abruptly.

Reid could tell that Hotch was lying. "No." Hotch said hesitantly.

"Tell me the truth!" Reid shouted down the phone.

Hotch paused for a second and explained himself. "I took the key out of your coat pocket_"

Reid interrupted. "Oh, so you took the key out of my pocket, drove down to my apartment and stole my fucking drugs!" Reid yelled. "Just leave me alone Hotch! I said I don't want your help!"

"Reid_" Hotch started before being hung up on by Reid.

Reid threw his phone onto the floor of his untidy apartment, he locked up his apartment and drove down to the pharmacy.

Reid nervously walked through the doors, he went up to the woman behind the counter.

"How may I help you?" She asked nicely.

"Do you have any dilaudid?" Reid asked hesitantly.

The woman gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry but we don't prescribe it here."

Reid's jaw dropped. "Is there anywhere else I can get it?"

"Another pharmacy I know of that provides this drug is at least seven miles away."

"Okay." Reid said before storming out of the pharmacy. He walked through the car park and to somewhere he knew provided the Dilaudid that he wanted; a place where truthfully: he'd rather avoid.

Reid walked through the door of the scruffy apartment building, he kept his hands in his pockets and his head down. He didn't want any trouble.

He himself didn't want to go down this road, but he felt as if he had no choice. He needed the drugs.

He pushed open the door; revealing all kinds of drug addicts, he hated this place more than anything.

He turned to a young woman who was drowsily leaning against the wall. "Do you know anyone who would sell Dilaudid?"

She didn't talk, just pointed to a large wooden door. Reid approached the door, it was practically tattooed in graffiti; he gently turned the handle and pushed open the door. He felt like a million eyes were on him.

"Hey look, a new guy!" One man shouted.

"He'll never last." Another joked.

A man in a brown trench coat ran up to Reid, he shook his hand and lead him to a small wooden chair in the middle of the worn-down room.

"What can I get you?" He asked.

"D-Dilaudid." Reid stuttered.

The man reached in his bag and brought out five vials full of Dilaudid.

"I only wanted_"

"Five, you wanted five." The man insisted. "Fifty dollars."

Reid's eyes widened. "Fifty dollars? I haven't got that." He got up out of his seat, he was then forced down by the man.

"You could get it cheaper if..." The man began.

"If what?" Reid asked anxiously.

"There are a few favours I have in mind."

"No fucking way am I doing some favours for you." He snapped while attempting to get up again but was hit around the face by one of the man's tough friends.

"I really should be going." Reid informed as he wiped the blood away from his mouth.

"You're not going anywhere." The man spat.

Reid looked up, the terror filled his eyes. "I want to go." He said confidently, regretting it seconds later as the strong man threw a punch into Reid's stomach. Reid winced in pain; he felt as if someone had plunged a sharp knife into him and immediately ripped it out, he held his head in excruciating agony.

"Can't you take it?" The man asked acidly. "Kick him." He demanded.

The other man grabbed Reid by the hair and threw him against the wall, he repeatedly kicked Reid in the chest before kicking him in the stomach; Reid lay on the floor: begging for them to stop, but they carried on beating him until he was in that much pain that he couldn't so much as ask them to stop. He just spluttered from the injuries they enflicted on him.

Eventually they got bored and left the room, leaving a broken and bruised Spencer Reid lying on the hard floor. He couldn't move, he couldn't cry for help; every time he tried to move it was like trying to lift a house, he physically couldn't sit up, never mind get up and walk out.

Hours passed like days, the vile smell of drugs corrupted the air which made Reid feel sick, his cravings for Dilaudid were unbearable and the discomfort he was feeling made it even worse.

After being left for hours, he heard familiar voices outside the door: the man and his tough friend were probably back for more, his heart sank as soon as he realised who it was.

Reid jumped slightly as the door opened, revealing a dim light from the other room. The man came in and stood over Reid scowling at him in the process.

"In pain?" He asked nastily.

Reid didn't answer, he just stared into the distance hoping that the man would go away.

"Drug him." The man ordered his friend. "Give him what he wants."

His friend aggressively grabbed Reid and leaned him against the wall, he loaded the syringe with the drug Reid so desperately wanted and injected it into Reid's bruised arm.

The two men left the room laughing. Reid was relieved that he was given the dose, but knew that it would definitely come at a price.

It was times like this that he really wished that somebody would help him, that anybody would help him…


	12. Innocent Fibre

**Hello readers, sorry it's been a while since I last updated I have just had a few exams on which I have been constantly studying for. I figured that you all were probably waiting for the next chapter so here it is; I hope you enjoy reading. :)**

**Please review on the chapter, I always like to have feedback on what was good and what needs improving on my creative writing. If you have the time of course. :)**

* * *

Reid slowly opened his eyes to find himself chained to a radiator. He must have been moved while he was completely stoned on the floor; he looked around the room. Nobody. Reid knew that he would be given dose after dose until he was so full of the drug that he couldn't even think about living without it. _That he would do anything for it._

Reid was still 'coming down' from the high, he felt terrified of what would come of him; but at the same time he felt free. Even though he was restrained to a rusted radiator and forced drugs.

Reid heard faint voices coming from the neighbouring room. He ignored the voices at first, but then realised that they were talking about him.

* * *

"What if he gets away?" One asked, completely scared of what might happen.

"He won't." The other assured. "He's too beaten and stoned to even walk across the room itself, never mind fucking walking out of this place unnoticed."

"We can't leave him on his own_"

"He's chained to a fucking radiator!" The man yelled. "How is he gonna get out of it?"

"He could_"

The man rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Could what?"

The other man fell silent. He really did have no idea.

"Here's what we do: we keep him pumped up with drugs until he is so addicted that he would kill for them, this way he'll do absolutely anything we tell him to do. He will do the favours for us. He will have no choice." He explained.

"Um…What exactly are these favours?"

"I haven't decided yet."

* * *

Reid's bloodshot eyes widened. _I have to get out of here. _He thought to himself. But how? How can he possibly get out of this? He used his genius mind to think of a solution. Nothing. Nothing at all, he needed a plan so desperately. He didn't want to know what was going to happen to him.

Reid yanked on the chains that restricted him from getting away; all they did was draw the attention of the man.

The door flew open, the man strolled through the door. Slamming it behind him, his arrogant nature stood out to Reid; Reid had already taken an immediate dislike towards him.

"I don't think we've properly introduced ourselves." The man began. "I'm Boris, Boris Warrick."

Reid looked up at him, not hiding his hatred towards 'Boris' if that even was his real name. "Are you trying to gain my trust or something?" Reid asked bitterly.

Boris aggressively kicked over a chair. "I don't want your god damn trust." Boris spat. "Do you really think that I give a damn about gaining your trust?" He asked rhetorically.

Reid tilted his head away, subconsciously knowing that Boris would take it the wrong way.

Boris did take it the wrong way, he violently pushed his hands against Reid's cheeks and pulled Reid's head forward. "ARE YOU IGNORING ME?" He yelled.

Reid didn't want to be abused, he didn't want any trouble with Boris. "I'm sorry." He sighed.

Boris scowled at Reid for a few seconds before releasing the grip and forcing Reid's head into the metal radiator.

Reid cried out in pain; only to be kicked by Boris. "Are you weak?" Boris asked coldly.

"Well I was never the most athletic_"

"You're gonna be so decrepit when I'm done with you." Boris chuckled. "You'll be begging for this drug." Boris got out the equipment needed for the next dosage.

"So that's what you're gonna do?" Reid laughed. "You're gonna keep me here and keep pumping me with drugs until I'm so full with this fucking Dilaudid that I'll do anything you say to get more."

"That's the plan." Boris raised his eyebrows; he tied the belt around Reid's arm to raise a vein, he then pushed the syringe into Reid's arm and allowed the addictive narcotic to enter Reid's bloodstream. Reid's head fell onto the back of the radiator as his shoulders loosened from the tension seconds before; Reid felt as if every innocent fibre of his personality had been drastically torn from him during the act played upon him. Boris smirked as he knew that everything was going to plan.

* * *

Aaron Hotchner paced around Reid's dump of an apartment looking for answers that he needed so desperately. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and speed dialled Morgan.

"Morgan, it's about Reid_" Hotch started.

"Is he still using?" Morgan asked.

"Yes, he turned up at my house two nights ago. He still looked stoned, I just need you to come over to his apartment right now…oh, and call Gideon. Tell him to come."

"Will do." Morgan said frantically.

Hotch put the phone down on the table before making his way to the opposite corner of the room. The place was unbelievably unorganised…and he knew why.

Just ten minutes later Morgan and Gideon arrived and gave Hotch shocked expressions.

"What he searching for drugs?" Morgan sighed.

Hotch nodded once. "I snook into his apartment and took his last vial, the next morning he called and started yelling at me for it."

Gideon added. "Well he must have done this yesterday morning." He pointed to the untidy apartment.

Hotch sat at the table. "I came over last night and nobody was in, I came again this morning and he's still gone."

Gideon shook his head. "He's obviously attempted to get more drugs."

"But why has it taken him almost twenty four hours?" Morgan asked abruptly.

"We just need to find him before he gets hurt."

* * *

Reid was aware that he was completely high on the floor, he wanted to just get up and go. But he couldn't. Even if he wasn't restrained he was too weak. He felt shattered, beaten, and feeble.


	13. Worthless

**Hello readers,**

**I'm so sorry for not updating in a while, (it's been since the 28th November). I've been busy for the past few weeks revising for exams (it has all paid off though), I hope that you enjoy this chapter and expect an update fairly soon. :)**

* * *

"Does he have his phone on him?" Gideon asked.

Hotch tiredly pointed over to the leather sofa: where Reid threw his phone in annoyance, Reid could be anywhere and they had no leads what-so-ever. Hotch, Morgan and Gideon where exhausted after searching Reid's apartment all night long for something that might give a hint to his whereabouts.

"Maybe he's gone out of town." Morgan suggested.

Hotch looked over at Morgan and Gideon, "if he is then we have no chance of finding him."

"He might have gone to Vegas to see his mum." Gideon reasoned.

"I already called." Morgan sighed. "They haven't seen him."

"Guys, listen, I know that we want to keep our spirits up for Reid; but in this situation we have to expect the worst." Hotch fixated his focus on Reid's mobile phone. "We've all seen drug-related cases at least once throughout our career, he's desperate and we need to accept that and not ignore it."

Morgan scowled over at Hotch. "What, so we're supposed to just fucking leave him?_"

"Morgan that's not what I'm trying to say!" Hotch yelled back in defence.

"Reid is like a God-damn brother to me. I will find him no matter what it takes!"

Gideon interrupted. "Maybe we might get a lead of his whereabouts from his credit card… Morgan get Garcia on the phone." Gideon demanded.

Morgan quickly yanked the phone out of his pocket and dialled Garcia's number.

"What is it my Chocolate Adonis?" She asked impudently.

"Can you see if Reid has used his credit card recently?"

"Has something happened to my boy wonder?" Garcia questioned in sincere concern.

Morgan hesitated, the last thing he wanted was to upset her.

"I'll tell you later." He sighed. "Have you got anything yet?"

"He used it two nights ago to buy a bar of chocolate and a cup of coffee."

Morgan shook his head, "how about any nearby drug stores around here that he could have visited?"

"One on Columbus Street, about fifteen minutes from here." She replied.

* * *

Reid tugged on the cold, rusted chain. He wanted to leave at an unbearable level; the blaring music was driving him crazy, the beatings made him feel decrepit, and the drugs made him feel worthless.

Reid's heart stopped as Boris walked through the door. He had the equipment needed for his next doseage of the unforgivably addictive narcotic; the syringe, the vial full with dilaudid, and the belt used as a tourniquet.

"Next dose boy!" He yelled in delight.

"I-I don't want it." Reid stuttered while looking desperately at Boris.

Boris stared back at him and rolled his eyes. "Don't lie to yourself." He said showing a small, insignificant amount of sympathy for poor Spencer; he tied the belt tightly around Reid's arm to raise a vein, once he spotted a raised vein he slowly and gradually punctured it with the piercing syringe, letting the clear fluid infect Reid's bloodstream. Making him loose consciousness.

* * *

Gideon, Hotch, and Morgan darted into the nearby pharmacy, they approached the woman behind the desk _the same woman who Reid had spoken to days before he disappeared._

Gideon held up a photo of Reid, it was slightly torn and faded, but you could still telit that it was him. "Have you seen this man?" He asked; incredibly desperate for answers.

She observed the photo for a few seconds, her eyes lit up with realisation. "He walked into here about two nights ago. Agitated, he looked anguished and desperate." She sighed in sympathy.

"What did he ask for?"

"Dilaudid, he seemed frustrated when I told him that we didn't have it."

Hotch looked over at the car park, he spotted a smashed car in the distance. Reid's car.

"I'll be right back."

Hotch sprinted over to it; it had clearly been vandalised, the windows were smashed, the tyres were gone, the radio (which Reid never really used anyway) was gone from the car's interior and the two front seats were missing.

Hotch used his mobile phone as a torch to illuminate the damage done to Reid's car, he darted straight back into the pharmacy to tell Morgan and Gideon.

"Reid's car is still here." He said while out of breath.

"That means he can't have gone far." Morgan replied, with some hope of finding the kid.

* * *

Reid awoke to the feeling of a sharp pain, he slowly lifted his eyelids to see Boris leaning over him.

"Did that wake you up?" Boris asked sarcastically.

"What, being kicked in the stomach or your annoying voice?" Reid replied confidently.

"Don't play tough with me."

"If I was playing tough then I'd be on my feet trying to get past you, but I'm not, I'm lying on the floor waiting for my next dosage. If anything, I believe that you need to purchase a dictionary and revise the word 'tough' and then use it."

Boris kicked Reid in the ribcage, causing him to curl up in pain, Boris laughed harshly as he lifted his leg to deliver yet another agonising kick to Spencer Reid.

"Not so tough now are we?" He spat. "What's wrong? Can't you take the pain? I have another dose in my pocket, but, because I love seeing you suffer so much you ain't getting none of it." Boris howled with laughter.

"I need it." Reid said in agony.

"You don't need it, you want it; learn the difference."

Reid pulled himself from the floor and leaned exhaustedly against the radiator. "I said that I fucking need it!" He yelled.

"Want it." Boris replied.

"I need it."

Boris crouched down over Reid and intimidatingly leaned in close. "You can have it if you do a few small, let's say 'favours' for me."

Reid didn't like the sound of this. "Like what?"

"Does narcotic or 'drug' trade ring any bells for you?" He asked.

"No fucking way." Reid protested.

Boris stood up and shrugged his shoulders, he reached over for the vial, tourniquet, and syringe; he put them next to Reid and began to walk towards the door.

"Your next dose will come at a price." He said sinisterly.

* * *

"Do you know any other pharmacies that might sell this drug?" Morgan asked the woman.

"The only one I know of is miles away, there is no way he could walk there on foot."

Gideon leaned on the counter. "How about dealers? Did any addicts walk in here for drugs you don't have and say that they would try somewhere else?"

The woman thought for a second. "A guy, Francais, some said that they would meet with him on Whitechurch Avenue, about five blocks from here."

"Thank you." Hotch said before dispersing from the pharmacy, they jumped into the SUV an drove off.

* * *

Reid thought longingly about whether he should take the Dilaudid or not; it had been over two hours since his previous dose, the withdrawal was coming on and he knew exactly how awful he felt when the symptoms came along.

Reid's decision was final. He was too weak, too desperate to just leave them; he shakily wrapped the belt tightly around his left arm, once he had detected a raised vein he gently pushed the Dilaudid into his system.

"Thanks for fucking nothing." He muttered bitterly as he went into 'the high'.

* * *

Boris peered though the door and gave a beaming smile when he realised that Reid had gone down that road. He closed the door and dodged through the piles of junkies scattered all over the apartment, eventually he found his tough friend, practically dragging him over to the dimly lighted room that Spencer Reid was located.

"Grab him." Boris demanded.

* * *

Hotch speeded over to Whitechurch Avenue, the three agents jumped out of the car, they approached the worn down building.

"I'll inform Garcia, JJ and Prentiss, tell them what's been going on." Morgan informed.

Hotch and Gideon nodded in unison. "Meet us up there, we'll see if Reid is anywhere in here."

Hotch and Gideon ran up the spiarraled staircase, they heard loud music coming from one apartment in particular.

Gideon pushed open the door, all kinds of junkies were in that place, but they only wanted to find one.

A man approached them, he seemed alert and coordinated, that was certainly not the case for everyone else in the apartment. "What can I do for you guys?"

Gideon started. "Are you Francais?"

"I am."

"Do you know or have you seen this man?" Hotch asked while holding up a photo of Dr. Spencer Reid.

"Can't say that I have." Francais replied. "You know, I'm not the only dealer around here. There are two others that I know of."

"Who are they?" Gideon questioned.

"The first one is like me, his name is Robert Tyren; he sells drugs to people and lets them stay for a little while." Francais grimaced for a brief second. "The next one is called Boris Warrick, now he is pretty diabolical with the people that get drugs from him; he drugs them until they are so addicted that they will do anything for more." He sighed. "In other words he sells them, trades them for profit. If anything, hope and pray that he's with Robert and no where near Boris."

"Thank you." Gideon and Hotch replied before quickly exiting the room.

* * *

"Come on, he's weak." He pleaded.

"Don't protect that son of a bitch!" Boris yelled.

"I hate having to do this."

Boris put his hand on his friend's shoulder, "we all have to do things we don't wanna."

His friend resignedly lifted Reid up and carried him out of the building, he gently put him in the back seat of the car.

Boris climbed into the driver's seat, "look, Frank, he was never gonna last; not with the severity of his addiction." He said trying to be as understanding as he possibly could be.

"Sending him to strangers makes me feel uncomfortable." Frank said hesitantly.

"Snap the fuck out of it!" Boris screamed, waking up a weak and drowsy Spencer Reid.

"W-where am I?" Spencer asked from the back seat of the car.

"You'll be just fine." Boris lied.

Reid reached over to open the door. Locked. "Where are you taking me?"

Boris pulled out of the car park, "would you shut the hell up?"

"Let me go you son of a bitch!" Reid yelled.

* * *

Gideon, Morgan and Hotch traipsed up the stairs of the apartment building. They knocked on Roger's door; a middle-aged man answered, he had a bad temper and didn't particularly want to see some FBI agents.

"What do you want?" He asked abruptly.

"Are you Roger?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Have you seen this man?" Morgan questioned while holding up Reid's photo.

"No." He answered quickly.

"Have you ever seen him before?"

"Never, now, if you don't mind I'd prefer it if you were to leave."

"What's the problem?" Gideon asked.

Roger sighed. "This is making me uncomfortable, I mean am I being accused or something?"

"No, no, of course not." Gideon reassured. "This man was an FBI agent, originally a colleague of ours; he got into drugs and evicted for it. What do you know about a man named Boris?"

Roger fully opened the door allowing the agents to come inside. "Boris Warrick had a sinister, devious mind. He gets his customers hooked and then sells them away like they mean nothing; I would never be involved in anything like that, it's inhumane to say the least."

"Do you know where we could find him?"

"He has places located all over the city, I don't know where he is exactly." Roger looked at the agents with sympathy in his eyes. "If this Spencer kid is with Boris he has no chance." He sighed at the memories. "I know exactly what it's like to be caught up in Boris' evil schemes."

Hotch stepped forward in curiosity. "You know what it's like?"

Roger raised his eyebrows. "Back in 05 I used to be an addict, I'd do anything for the drugs." Roger grimaced. "One day I got caught up with Boris; he kept me for a few days and constantly gave me drugs … he then sold me off like I was worth nothing. They made me fight against people a lot bigger than me, I managed to escape two days later and I decided to become a dealer who wouldn't put others through such demeaning ordeals."

"Did people pay to watch?" Morgan questioned.

Roger ran his hand through his hair. "Hell yeah, at least a hundred at each fight. It makes you think about how sick those bastards must have been to be willing to pay to spectate at something so awful."

* * *

"Would you give him something?, a sedative?, anything?, more fricken Dilaudid just so he will shut the hell up!" Boris shouted loudly.

"What are you going to do with me?" Yelled Reid.

Boris whipped his head around to look at Reid. "Fucking shut up!"

Reid kicked the driver's seat multiple times before attempting to kick down the car door.

"Where's the dilaudid?" Boris asked Frank.

Frank looked in his pockets, he pulled out a full vial of Dilaudid. "Here."

"Look in the compartment of the car, there might be a few syringes in there." Boris ordered.

Frank gently opened the compartment and rummaged around for a syringe. "Found one."

"A new, clean one too!" Boris exclaimed which only made Reid feel uncomfortable about who had been using the syringes before he had.

"You've been using the same syringes on me that you had previously used on other people? Do you have any idea of how many infections that could have transmitted?" Reid said clearly anguished.

"Here he goes again." Boris turned to Reid. "Well you have a clean one now."

* * *

"Are you calling about Reid?" Garcia questioned in sheer concern.

"I want you to look up a man." Morgan began. "Boris Warrick."

Garcia rapidly typed on her computer, she had no idea who this man even was, but determined to nail him to the floor if he did anything to hurt Reid.

"Got him!" Garcia exclaimed. "Name a crime and it's on this guy's file; robbery, theft, assault, gang violence, manslaughter, drug trafficking, drug importing…the list goes on."

"How about his locations. Properties that he owns?"

"He is the owner of three properties, a small apartment a couple of blocks from the pharmacy and two closed down warehouses which he hasn't done anything with; I'm emailing the coordinates to your phone right now."

"Thanks baby_" Morgan started.

"Before you hang up on me I want to know the details of what this is actually all about." She demanded.

"Trust me, you don't want to know."

"Tell me Derek!"

Morgan sighed. "Reid's missing."

Garcia's eyes welled up with tears. "Missing?"

"We believe that this guy is keeping him somewhere." Morgan paused for a second. "Reid was in search of more drugs, he couldn't access any from the pharmacy so he must have gone to Boris." Morgan heard Garcia sobbing in the background. "Penelope please don't cry, I promise I'll find him, we'll catch this bastard and get Reid home safe. I will make him pay for whatever terrible thing he has done to Reid."

Garcia gritted her teeth. "I trust that you'll find this son of a bitch."

"I'll inform you when we get any leads." Morgan hung up the phone and jumped into the SUV, he drove to Boris' apartment first because it was the quickest to get to.

Morgan bashed on the door. The music was terribly loud and was piercing Morgan's eardrums, he pounded again, and again. Nobody seemed to be hearing the loud knocks.

Morgan pushed the door. It wasn't even locked, he walked inside and walked up to the person that looked as close to sober as possible. "Have you seen Boris Warrick anywhere?"

"H-he took this skinny kid out of the apartment, he should b-be in about an hour or so. He lives here so he always comes home at night."

* * *

"Pull over." Reid demanded.

Boris dramatically turned his head around. "Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm gonna throw up."

Boris groaned as he swerved his car to the side of the road, he got out of the car and opened Reid's door (which happened to be child-locked). Reid violently vomited non stop for two minutes or so.

Boris grew more and more impatient every second that passed by. "Are you almost done?" He asked abruptly.

Reid spluttered. "You've given me nothing but Dilaudid and water for over two days, it's pretty obvious that the withdrawal would come shortly after." He coughed.

"Don't talk to me like you would a dumbass!" Boris yelled.

Reid drowsily lifted his head up as he wiped his mouth, he came to a sudden jolt when Boris grabbed him and threw him into the back of the car; it was as if his life was worth absolutely nothing.

* * *

**Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter. :)**


	14. Spencer

**Hello readers, **

**I am back with another update, I hope you like reading this chapter. :)**

* * *

Boris dragged Reid through the worn down building; despite Reid being incredibly weak at that particular moment in time, Boris showed him no sympathy or compassion.

He practically threw Reid at another man, this man was much bigger and looked far more menacing than Boris ever was.

"What exactly do you want _me_ to do with this scrawny kid?" His voice was monotonous, but at the same time the anger was easily detectable.

"I'm selling him to you ... let's say" Boris' voice went quiet with fear, "one thousand dollars?"

The man laughed with a rather sinister tone, "_you_, expect _me_ to pay one thousand dollars to watch this skinny-ass kid get killed?" He grabbed Boris by the throat, "you are a joke! He'd be killed by the end of the first round, I mean, look at him! he couldn't tear a sheet of paper in half."

Boris let out a small yelp as he fell out of the man's grasp, "I get you addicts, we both make profit!"

The man kicked Boris to the floor. "PROFIT!" He yelled. "How'd you even find this guy?"

"He came to me_"

"Get out Boris, and take him with you." He demanded.

* * *

Frank had been waiting for Boris to return to the car, Reid looked sick, and Boris looked frustrated.

"What'd he say?"

"That son of a bitch told me to leave!" Boris yelled.

"What are we_"

"Gonna do with him?" Boris interrupted. "We'll just give him drugs and drop him off with another addict, at least he'll be out of our hair."

* * *

Gideon, Morgan and Hotch waited patiently for Boris to return, "when is he gonna be back?" Morgan asked one of the addicts.

"Dunno." He shrugged, "maybe in a few minutes, maybe in a few hours. It's unpredictable with Boris."

The three agent's heads turned in unison as they saw the apartment door fly open. "Stupid bastard," Boris muttered to Frank, not noticing the three federal agents standing in his apartment.

"Excuse me_" Hotch started.

"Who the hell are you?"

Gideon stepped forward and held up his badge. "I am Agent Jason Gideon with the FBI. These are agents Hotchner and Morgan, do you have somewhere that we could talk privately?"

Boris scowled at the before leading them into what originally was the bedroom. It was had no furniture but a small wooden chair, black curtains which were closed 24/7 and a grotty radiator. The same room they kept Reid in.

Boris shut the door and awkwardly walked into the middle of the room to face the agents.

"Where is this man?" Gideon held up a photo of Reid.

Boris shrugged carelessly.

"Tell me the truth." Gideon demanded.

"Why?" Boris asked, "what's it to you?"

Hotch looked at Boris for several seconds. "Arrest him." He ordered.

Morgan aggressively grabbed Boris and put the handcuffs on his wrists to restrain him from even thinking to fight back.

The agents and Boris quickly exited the room, leaving everyone to wonder what had just happened.

* * *

Morgan got more and more frustrated every second that he spent interrogating Boris, all he wanted was for his best friend to come back safe and that was not going to happen unless Boris told him every detail.

"WHERE IS HE?" Morgan yelled to Boris.

Boris shrugged to annoy Morgan further.

"Tell me where he is you son of a bitch." He demanded.

Boris smiled impudently. "No."

Morgan stormed out of the interrogation room, Hotch immediately filled his place.

JJ, Prentiss and Garcia walked up to Morgan with confused expressions on their faces.

"We need to be informed on everything. Prentiss said, despite being moved to a different section, she still worked in the Quantico headquarters and wanted to be filled in on the past events.

"It's about Reid, we know that." JJ sighed.

"Sit down. It's a pretty long story."

The agents sat in the bullpen of the BAU, the females eyes were fixed on Morgan and didn't want to miss a word that came out of his mouth.

"Listen, Penelope I know that you know half the story already so I'm going to tell you everything. Since Reid was fired a couple of weeks ago, everything seemed to go downhill for him; he was using a lot, when the drugs ran out he could get none prescribed for him at the drug store so he went to a dealer. Boris Warrick his name is, we believe that Boris held Reid for a few days and just gave his dose after dose of Dilaudid." Morgan sighed. "We think that he had traded him to someone else."

JJ's eyes watered, Reid was like a brother to her and she hated seeing him hurt. Prentiss portrayed little emotion but wanted Reid back safe; Garcia was angry with Boris.

"Can I speak to him?" She asked.

"To Boris?"

"Yes to him. I want Reid found, I want to get every detail out of that bastard." Garcia was furious, Morgan was genuinely surprised, Garcia tried to see the good in people but it sure was hard to see any good in him.

"But baby g_"

"But nothing Derek, I want Reid home safe." Garcia got up from the chair and stormed over to the interrogation room.

"Garcia_"

"Where is he?" She asked in anger.

"Who are you?"

"Garcia, out, now!" Hotch yelled.

"I will find him, you won't get away with this you son of a_" Garcia was cut off when Hotch closed the door on her.

* * *

Reid woke up, his head was spinning and he felt unbearably sick. One moment he is in the backseat of a car, the next he is leaning against the wall of an old and dirty apartment; he knew it all too well.

"It's about damn time!" A man laughed.

"Who_" Reid said breathlessly, "who are you?"

"Another dose?" The man asked.

"Yes, yes please." Reid closed his eyes and wished for all of his discomfort to go away.

"It'll cost ya."

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

The man laughed uncontrollably. "If you take this dose then I own ya."

Reid shook his head. "I don't, I don't want it then."

The man carried on laughing. "That's too bad."

He wrapped the tourniquet around Reid's arm to raise a vein, Reid whimpered in fear as he watched the needle pierce his skin, he felt the Dilaudid flow into his bloodstream and the increased rate of Dopamine and Seratonin release into his brain; Reid's head fell back simultaneous to his slowly sinking heart as he realised that the dosage was just fueling the severity of his addiction to increase, but at the same time a great level of ecstasy ran through him as he felt just how wonderful it was to be 'high'. Even his genius, his beautiful but wasted mind couldn't come up with a logical explanation for the high level of delight and release he was feeling, but the even higher level of shame; he both loved and hated the feeling. The euphoria he found better than any feeling he had ever experienced in his entire lifetime, but the shame, the shame vastly masked out any feeling of ecstasy, the euphoria, the delight, the escape. The fact was: drugs came at a price, a high one if that. Addiction was what it was, Reid knew that, he always knew that. He had read practically every book on drugs, on narcotics, on addiction in general. But none, none of them gave him any answers, just a bunch of facts that he could add to the collection stored in his advanced mind. He genuinely, he truly, had no idea of how to stop.

* * *

"What on Earth is going on?" Strauss asked abruptly as she walked quick-paced through the bullpen.

"Ma'am we're on to something." Morgan explained.

"Agent Morgan, you don't belong in this part of the FBI anymore_"

"Ma'am, Spencer Reid is missing an we might be on the verge of taking down a huge drug ring."

Strauss sighed resignedly. "Stay here until you have all of this finished with."

"Thank you ma'am."

* * *

"Boris Warrick was using his friend's car." Garcia yelled while running towards Gideon.

"I tracked it through the GPS." She explained. "The time that they came back matched the time the GPS last stopped."

"Where was it last?" Gideon asked impatiently.

"West Apartment Building, 21st Avenue seven blocks from Boris' apartment."

"Great work Garcia, you've just found Reid."

* * *

Reid slowly opened his eyes, the man was standing, patiently awaiting his consciousness to come back. But this time: the man wasn't so nice.

The man threw one large kick to Reid's stomach and again, and again. Reid whined in agony as the man lifted him up and pushed his weaked body against the wall before grabbing the tourniquet, still loosely wrapped around Reid's arm and tightened it so much that Reid could feel the circulation wearing thin; he injected Reid with another dose and pulled the tourniquet off from it's tightened grip.

The man let go of Reid, sending him straight to the wooden floor; he kicked him one final time before attempting to make a run for it.

The door flew open, Morgan, Gideon and Prentiss came through with their guns firmly placed in their hands.

"You're under arrest." Gideon said spitefully while cuffing the man.

Morgan and Prentiss rushed into the back room, immediately after spotting Reid the two agents ran to his aid.

Prentiss tried to get Reid to regain consciousness, Morgan sighed when he saw the empty Dilaudid vial on the floor, along with the syringe and tourniquet.

"Pr-Prentiss?" Reid said weakly.

"Shh Reid, we're gonna get you to a hospital." She said softly.

"I'm sorry." He cried. "I'm so, so sorry."

Prentiss hugged the former agent. "Don't be sorry Reid, you'll get help and we're gonna try and get you your job back."

"It'll never work." Reid sobbed.

Morgan crouched down and looked Reid in the eye. "Reid, we will get you back into the FBI, it doesn't matter what happens in the long-term. This is destroying you."

Reid leaned against the wall and held his head in his hands. "Me getting my job back is virtually impossible. They won't let me come back, and truthfully I don't blame them."

* * *

**Thank you for reading this chapter, please review and give any feedback about what you thought about it. :)**


	15. Four months later

**Sorry for the fact that I haven't updated in like three weeks, I hope you guys had a good Christmas. :) This chapter is kind of a skip from the previous one, I'm skipping it to four months ahead because I want to finish it and start a new story; I was thinking a crossover (maybe Criminal Minds/Heroes or Criminal Minds/Breaking Bad because I love those three shows and think that they might make interesting combinations). I'm also deleting my story 'Sitting on a Traumatic Past, Lingering Underneath an Unbearable Future' story within the next two weeks after realising how unbelievably badly written it is, (I've been getting far better at writing stories since then). Anyway, you can read that if you like before it's gone forever.**

**Reviewing my chapters helps me to get more chapters out for you guys to read, feel free to leave a review (constructive criticism is accepted by me) I really do appreciate reviews from people, reading people's opinions on my writing. :)**

* * *

'Doctor Reid," Erin Strauss began. "It's been a long time."

Reid looked at Strauss with certainty, "yes ma'am it has." He replied with a clear voice, something the dilaudid often prevented him from.

"So…" Strauss held on the tip of her tongue while re-arranging her desk, "you want me to just give you your gun and badge back … like nothing happened in the first place?" She questioned impatiently.

"N-no ma'am, not at all," a nervous, but prepared Doctor Spencer Reid stuttered. "I will probably need to go through the FBI training again, and redo my test to ensure my gun qualification_"

"Probably?" Strauss interrupted.

"I will certainly have to do all of that again, but_"

Strauss shook her head and rested her hands on the shiny wooden desk, "but nothing Doctor Reid, it's been what, five months since you were evicted?" Strauss estimated.

"Four months and twenty seven days." Reid corrected, "but that's beside the point, I've been sober for four months and two." He ensured.

Strauss repeated the act of shaking her head, she turned to look at Reid; who was wearing a 'Hotch style' suit and tie for the occasion, but still kept it quirky with the 'Fourth Doctor/Tom Baker' type scarf, one purple/green striped sock, the other being Santa Claus hats accompanied by recurring reindeer antlers (in the middle of July) with a pair of black converse. "You walk in here, put on your_" she looked at his odd fashion combination, "_most formal clothes, act like nothing has happened and expect your job back? Doctor Reid, not so long ago you overdosed in the restroom while we were on a case." She sighed. "Have you really convinced yourself into thinking that you were actually getting your job back?"

"I've sobered up, I haven't touched drugs since." Reid tried to reason.

Strauss could see the distress in the young genius, which caused her to have a complete change of heart. "Listen Reid, I can make just one arrangement." Strauss informed, "I do believe that the BAU have a case tomorrow, agents Morgan, Prentiss and Hotchner have recently been re-assigned to the unit after they helped bring down a national drug ring; if you're up to it you can accompany them."

Reid's eyes lit up with delight, "really ma'am? Thank you." He said gratefully.

"I'll go too, just to assess you. I could send over a report to my superiors and see if they are willing to allow you to rejoin the bureau." She explained after seeing the personal problems drugs had caused Spencer Reid to develop; she felt the built wedged into her, guilt that could only fade away by giving the genius his job back and observing the improvements it could make. Strauss new that it killed him to carry the reputation of being a drug addict, and the fact that he was kicked out of the bureau as a result; the only way he could fully recover was returning to the FBI.

* * *

Spencer Reid woke up extra early, after all: it was possibly his first day of many. He got to the bullpen around seven in the morning, you know, to make a good impression; he walked through with his brown messenger bag, mismatched socks and black converse. He sat down at his old desk, before realising that it didn't actually belong to _him_ anymore; Reid at that point felt slightly embarrassed, but if anything: he felt undeniably upset that it wasn't his. It had always belonged to him.

Reid got up from the desk and began aimlessly wandering around the BAU headquarters, it felt incredibly weird to be back, it made the genius feel unbearably ashamed about the circumstances he had gotten himself into; as if he never deserved the job in the first place, not after using drugs _that _badly… after _needing _drugs so badly. There was no mistaking Spencer Reid when he ever mentioned that withdrawal was the worst, most painful thing he had ever experienced, but that it was so right moralistically speaking. He promised himself that he'd never abuse drugs again after suffering the pain of coming off them.

"Reid?"

Reid radidly turned his head to see Aaron Hotchner walking in his direction, he gave a small acknowledgement smile. "Strauss said that you have a case today."

"We do," Hotch replied. "Are you going to be joining us?"

Reid nodded his head, "she wants to see how I am with the team. She might discuss with some other superiors whether I'll be returning or not." He explained.

Hotch gave Reid a rare smile. "That's good… the BAU is missing it's purpose when you're not in it."

Reid laughed in modesty, "what was your previous unit like?"

I don't know what Prentiss and Morgan were like in their units, but I hated the one I was placed in. I wasn't the section chief."

Reid nodded, "I can tell that it must have been unbearable torture for you." He added sarcastically.

"Are you okay now?"

Reid smiled, but secretly felt self conscious about having to discuss a recent drug habit with his old boss. "I'm fine now, I'm off the dilaudid and never going back to it."

"That's good Reid."

A distant call from across the bullpen sent Reid and Hotch facing the opposite direction.

"Boy wonder!" Garcia yelled at the top of her lungs while sprinting over to him, Reid gave her a gentle wave seconds before she wrapped her arms around him.

"I've missed you too Garcia."

"I'm so glad you're okay." She sighed in relief, "are you joining the team?"

Reid nodded. "Just for this case."

Garcia eventually let go when Morgan walked through the bullpen. "Reid, you're back."

"I'm joining you on this case."

"Glad to hear it." Morgan replied, secretly still quite worried about the genius.

* * *

"Five females," JJ began, "were stabbed to death and dumped deep in the forest."

"The victimology being petite and particularly attractive." Reid added

"And the media has it, the story is all over the television, newspapers." Morgan sighed, "the unsub can't like that."

"Gideon read over the case file, "they could resemble a failed relationship with a partner, could resemble his mother. It is undoubtedly causing panic amongst the locals."

* * *

"Okay, so we have a type." Reid stated.

"Pretty, petite, never done any harm to anyone." Gideon snapped while reluctantly tossing the file across the table; the rest of the team gazed in confusion, it was very rare that he acted in that manner. It made them have their suspicions about whether he was having enough of his job.

JJ stared at her home screen wide eyed, "guys, we've got another victim." She passed the image over to her colleagues. "This time with a note." She sighed in frustration, and a photo."

"Photo?" Prentiss asked, "of what?"

Gideon stared at the photo. "It's of Reid."


End file.
